Some days, you may be feeling like you’re on top of the world. Everything seems to be working out perfectly; you’re smiling, everybody else is smiling. Other days, your life may seem to be in the ditch. You feel depressed, disappointed with your relation with those around you. You can’t quite point out the reason why you feel these massive emotional ups and downs.
The reason may be this: you’re too dependent.
Consider this theoretical situation: your social circle vanishes out of the blue. You now have no friends around you. How would you feel? How would this affect the way you live your regular day to day life?
There would obviously be some effect. Human beings are social animals, but how you answer this question will determine how truly happy you are with yourself. How much do your friends mean to you? Do your relationships revolve around your lifestyle, or does your lifestyle revolve around theirs?
Dependent happiness is one that heavily relies on others. People with such ways of staying happy constantly require positive feedback and reaffirmation from their friends. This is not to say that they are not happy – they are – but the feelings are only temporary. If they’re separated from their friends for even a short period of time, the positive emotions can quickly turn into negative ones. This is why a lot of people with low self esteem stick close to a group of friends, a clique, and do everything together.
They are not satisfied with themselves, and the others they are with complete who they are.
The key to true happiness in independence.
Independently happy people are happy, regardless of whether they’re with their closest friends, or if they’re alone. These people have a strong understanding of who they are, where their interests lie, and tend to be confident in all situations. They are emotionally stable, unlikely to get overly depressed by external matters. The world is always evolving, and some changes are hard to accept.
Independent people do not rely on others to obtain happiness, and thus are more able to adjust to the differences.
Everybody’s on a quest for true happiness; a better life, and it is important to understand where it comes from. Some people turn to drugs and alcohol. Some people develop addictions/obsessions. Some make wiser decisions and turn to religion; however, the happiness we’re all seeking is not distant.
We are the source, and it’s as simple as unlocking it and allowing for it to happen.
How can we become more independent?
One way to start is by doing more things yourself. Don’t call up your friends on your next shopping trip. Join classes/clubs based purely off of your interest and not off of pressure from acquaintances. It may sound weird at first, but these alone activities can give you peace of mind – no worries, no pressures from anybody. They can help you understand who you are better, and what your passions are. Most importantly, make sure you enjoy them.
As you get a hang of just enjoying time without having anybody around you, start to get in the mentality of putting yourself before others. This does not mean to become selfish, but it simply means to have more respect for yourself and who you are. When you make a decision involving other people, clear your mind of all external pressures and expectations – get in touch with your inner thoughts and what it is YOU want.
Independently happy people do not live others’ lives, they live their own.
By developing a strong understanding of your inner emotions, beneath all the extra social layers, you will be able to make clear, decisive decisions you will not regret on the long term.
Independence is not an easy thing to achieve. It requires deep thought and a willingness to connect with yourself in a fully honest, open minded way, even if it requires addressing unwanted thoughts; however, you will find yourself being a happier person overall. You may be living the same lifestyle as before, but every moment of your life will be occupied with brighter thoughts and emotions.
You are living your life. Take full control of it.