Breaking-Up is Hard
Several weeks after Lloyd broke-up with Lisa, she was still having problems with the separation. When Lisa was not sleeping, she was eating and watching mindless television programs. She was not interested in seeing friends or family and it was even a chore for her to take a shower or get dressed. Lisa felt the void in her life and she cried all the time. She missed Lloyd and often thought about the "happy times" they shared together. Lisa was heartbroken.
There's a popular song from the 1970s by the Bee Gees called "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart." It goes in part ". . . How can you mend a broken heart? How can a loser ever win? Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again. . . ." That's how many people feel when they are brokenhearted, like a loser with no hope, looking for someone to "help" them.
The Prescription for Heartbreak
There are prescriptions for almost every ailment we feel, except heartbreak. Here are some things that you can do to mend your broken heart:
Grieve and Let Go: If you want to move-on, you must grieve the loss, accept it, and then let it go. When you grieve you must allow yourself to feel the pain and don't try to stop it with alcohol or drugs.
View Independence as a Positive not a Negative: Remember how happy you were the first time you felt truly independent from your parents? The way you felt when you got your first job, bought your first car, moved into your first apartment or home. Think back to the feelings of accomplishment you once had at being in charge of your life and making your own decisions. This is how you need to view your current state - as independence.
Volunteer and Help Others: Your situation will not seem so bleak when you help others who are worse off than you. Volunteer at a homeless or women's shelter, at a hospital, or your local church, synagogue, or other place of worship.
Get Moving: Physical activity is good for your mind and body! When you exercise you get two benefits for the price of one. Force yourself to work-out for a few weeks, and before you know it, it will become a habit. You will begin to feel much better about yourself and your situation when you are physically healthy.
Laugh, Laugh, Laugh: Go to a comedy club, watch a funny movie, or go out with friends and laugh! Laughter does so much to help the healing process.
Seek Wisdom: Talk to someone about your situation, it could be a trusted friend or a professional counselor. Go to your church or synagogue and get some help.
Love: While you need to go through the process of healing your broken heart, you will eventually have the opportunity to love again. Don't close the door on love. When you feel ready, jump in and love again!
New Beginning – Happy Now
After going through the process of letting go, Lisa got over the pain of her break-up with Lloyd. She stopped overeating, got into a routine of working-out, volunteered at her church several times a month and made it a point to visit or talk to her friends often. After several months of dating, Lisa met Ben and after a few months they began dating exclusively. Lisa found the prescription for heartbreak and is now in love and engaged to be married.
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