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The Road to Recovery: An Alcoholics Daily Treatment of Their Alcoholism

robakerost | Jan 11, 2010 |

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The first time I tried to stop drinking was 1997, I was 27 years old. The alcohol detox I encountered was so severe that I spent six days in the hospital. I really thought I was going to die. Upon leaving the hospital, I swore off alcohol forever. Within a week I went to my first Alcoholic's Anonymous (AA) meeting; which depressed the crap out of me so I never went back.

Over six years later I still had not had a drink of real alcohol. I say "real" alcohol, because every once in a while I would drink non-alcoholic beer. What's the harm in that you say? For an alcoholic, it's the thinking that gets us in trouble. So after many years of not drinking, I began to think, "Maybe I'm not an alcoholic after all" and "my priorities are different these days, surely I can handle alcohol now." So I had a glass of wine with a steak. It was on.

Once a pickle, never a cucumber. I knew deep down for years that I was an alcoholic. Thinking I could control my drinking again after so many years was typically alcoholic thinking. Something an alcoholic does who is not working a recovery program. So after years of abstinence, I was off and running again. For an alcoholic, it doesn't matter if the second drink follows the first one by a day, a week, or month; once we have that first drink, the obsession returns and alcohol is all we think about. Within a few short months I was drinking as much or more than I was back in 1997. Which was over a fifth of vodka a day; I was in real trouble again.

Finally, in 2005 I entered an alcoholism treatment program for the first time. The treatment program was a 28 day in-patient program. Once I got out, I went to a few AA meetings and made a feeble attempt at recovery. But after all, I had gone over six years before without drinking, I didn't need all those support groups and spiritual jargon. Plus, I had to get back to work and continue making a success out of myself professionally. Within a few months I was drinking again. Although this time, the depression that followed my drinking was also getting worse. Over the next few years and another attempt at rehab, I struggled to put together any length of time in real recovery. The problem; I was not making sobriety my number one priority. I think the years of abstinence had given me a false sense of security.

On March 12^th of 2006 I reached a physical, emotional, and spiritual bottom. Faced with years of failed relationships, jobs, and the inability to string together any rewarding length of sobriety, I was at a crossroads. Simply put, the way I saw it, I had two choices; suicide or try a treatment center again. I tried treatment again, this time desperate to do whatever it took to get better.

After leaving rehab in April of 2006 I moved into a sober living house. Sober living was a good choice for me since I shared a house with six other guys who were all working on their recovery. I attended as many AA meetings as time allowed and went to more than the suggested 90 in 90 days for newcomers in sobriety. I got a sponsor early in my recovery and completed the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Treating alcoholism for me today means waking up each day and doing everything in my power to stay sober. After awhile, it does get easier, but I have to stay diligent and continue to make sobriety my number one priority. Recovery is not just something I do today, its who I am.

I like to think that I wake each day with untreated alcoholism. For me, the treatment consists of living life on a set of spiritual principles and striving each day to accomplish three things: trust God, clean house (morally), and help others.

My day-to-day routine is actually quite simple. It consists pretty much of the following, with some variation while at the same time with none at all!

Upon waking in the morning, I immediately get on my knees and pray. I ask God to show me what He will have me do today, and the strength to carry it out. What I believe in is not as important as the fact that I do believe there is something I'm praying to. And it works, it really does.

After praying, I get ready for work and read some mediation books I have accumulated. Usually, I read two or three daily mediations, or just keep reading until something hits home and means something to me for the day ahead.

I attend three to five AA meetings a week and try to talk with at least one other recovering alcoholic each and every day. On top of meetings and talking with one of my sponsor several times a week, I also sponsor other men in recovery also.

At night before going to bed, I get on my knees again and thank God for a sober and wonderful day. This is also the time when I reflect on my day and see if there's anywhere I can improve. If there were any things I said or did that may need amends made for, and write them down so I can make them right the next day. As my recovery time and my spiritual condition improve, I find there are fewer amends that I need to make. The reason is, I'm more at peace with myself, and thus I need less external forces to build my self-esteem. As a result, I'm less likely to offend anyone or say something I may regret. When I'm wrong, I promptly admit it.

Today I am a grateful recovered alcoholic and have found the life I had always dreamed of.