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The Unrepentant Carnivorous Man's Ultimate and Easy Steak Sauce

By Edited Dec 1, 2016 0 4

Tapatio Sauce

Just add lime juice for the ultimate steak sauce!

Tapatio Sauce
Credit: http://www.latinmerchant.com/productdetail.asp?ProductID=HS0113

Listen, I'm A Meat Eating Monster.

I love meat.  Especially I love red meat.  I like to see the blood from the flesh of the dead animal I'm about to make into lunch.  I do absolutely mean that, and I mean right here and right now.

Oh I love pork and chicken too, of course.  I'm also overly fond of crustaceans like shrimp.  I can't help that - my mother is allergic to shellfish, and so I've developed an over appreciation for them.  I doesn't matter anyway, those things are yummy whether or not your mother couldn't cook them for you when you were young due to allergies.

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings!

The quote above is from a Nirvana song, it's a Kurt Cobain quote or lyric, actually.  I don't care if fish have feelings or not.  I might as well wonder if the chocolate covered almonds I have had feelings at one time too.  If the almonds did happen to have feelings, then I hope that they enjoyed the chocolate that they're coated in.  No not really, I don't care if the almonds suffered greatly for the chocolate coating, at least not when I'm hungry I don't.

Special note:  My steak sauce of choice doesn't include chocolate or cows suffering due to chocolate coating.  I reserve that special torture for the plant life that I eat...mostly nuts and raisins...er grapes I mean.  Raisins were grapes before folks inhumanely shriveled them.  It's torture, I tell thee, that makes grapes into raisins!

Right this moment my dead cow flesh is sizzling.  I love the smell of it.  I'm about to eat a dead piece of cow flesh and I love it!!!!  I'm going to mix up my favourite steak sauce and drizzle it all over that  cooked piece of dead cow flesh.  I like saying dead cow flesh, I think that tastes better than "beef."

Okay, all facetiousness aside, I think that traditional steak sauce is great.  I've always been a fan of A1 Steak Sauce, or Heinz 57 Steak Sauce, but my favourite sauce to put on beef these days is totally different.  Basically, I like red sauces like Louisiana Hot Sauce or Tapatio Hot Sauce, and I take those sauces, combine them or use them alone - and I mix them with lime juice, and salt.

It's really just that easy.  If you prefer to dip instead of soak your slices of beef, pork, and chicken - and I do use the same sauce on all meats, by the way, then holy smoke, I shouldn't have to tell you that all that is needed is a little salsa bowl, either or both or comparable red sauces, lime juice, and salt...wiht a bit of stirring of the mixture.

The red sauces of this world are full of peppers that speed up the human metabolism, and that my friends is a total win.  

I prefer lime juice to lemon juice, but the facts are that they are interchangeable for the cause of the sauce, and that they both are outstanding highly acidic juices full of ascorbic acid, which is more commonly known as Vitamin C.  Total win yet again, my friends.

Salt is optional, you might salt your meat while cooking or grilling it.  If you're blood pressure is an issue then leave off the salt, there is already salt in the red sauces.

I tend to think that this simple sauce elixir works great for shrimp too, but if you happen to prefer cocktail sauces, then you can certainly add this to traditional cocktail sauce to make it a bit more spicy.

In any case, I'd not try it on vegetables.  I think eating vegetables is akin to murder.

Tapatio Sauce

I put that stuff on everything!

Tapatio Salsa Picante Hot Sauce
Amazon Price: $12.02 $7.50 Buy Now
(price as of Dec 1, 2016)


May 5, 2013 5:10am
Not my "flavor" of article, but it's certainly an LOL. Did you make money on this article? Not a redundant question. Honestly want to know. You are a "meatatarian on steroids" borderline dangerously mental perhaps. Specifically based on your first paragraph, and my comment was meant to be funny, not implying. Interesting how you have empathy for the vegetables and not the animals. I love (to eat) all animals and vegetables equally. Thank you for a great start to my day! Pun intended since I use hot sauce on my eggs.
May 5, 2013 8:14am
Satire, my dear appersonal - look it up.

Red sauce on eggs is forever a terrific thing too! Don't know whether you are into Mexican food or not, but it is the Fifth of May today...and if I might recommend a thing, then I'd recommend Guerrerro brand tortillas :)
May 5, 2013 6:14pm
LOL Absolutely into Mexican. Thanks for the tip.
May 5, 2013 6:43pm
They are the BEST tortillas other than the ones that are home made by someone who was raised in Mexico.

I swear it. I wrote a thingo about them here, even. Especially, if you find the RAW ones that have to be cooked...those things are absolutely fantastic!
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