In 2008, I left life as I knew it

In December of 2007, after a year of meditation and studying the works of Dr David R Hawkins, I experienced a spiritual illumination, or awakening. I realized the Presence of God as love, and all else fell away from awareness for several weeks. Everything I'd ever believed to be true was seen to be layers of falsehood based solely in belief systems and programming vs truth. The subjective reality was one of great beauty and wherein I was in love with everything and everyone. The people around me could not understand what I was going through, and some thought I was sick. I was not sick, but very much alive, and in the best mental health I'd ever experienced to date. In fact, it was the absence of the static of the mind, of its uncertainty and questioning, that equated to health and purity of the experience. Gradually the state left though and I returned to society, including my field of expertise (social work), but the shattered ego was unable to cope.

By the summer of 2008, I was suffering from the opposite of the illumined state and was in a severe depression, and consumed by fibromyalgia pain. I had a mental health breakdown and took a leave from my job in the field of social services. Because I had left my job, I was required to seek medical attention for my mental health. I saw a psychiatrist and questioned whether I was experiencing the bipolar condition. Depression and fibromyalgia were the clinical diagnoses. I was prescribed the medication Lyrica, which had unbearable side effects that only contributed to the discourse.

Desperate to regain the experience of God's Love as awareness itself, I left everything as I knew it, my family, my job, my children, and took the Greyhound bus from BC, Canada to Sedona, AZ. The further away I got from home and the roles I'd found insanity in post-illumination, the 'higher' I got. Unmedicated, unsupported by everything that had been familiar, I found myself in a far away desert, all alone, and was met with Love.

I wrote about the experience, starting with the pain of the depression and ending with its transcendence. I called it Karma's Story.