There is was sitting in my email inbox with no help from me: a message from eHarmony. How did they find me? What did they want? Sure I am technically single, but looking? No Way. I haven't told anyone I wanted a boyfriend. The ad claimed their was a spring special. Underemployed and looking for kicks I hit enter. A new tab popped open asking for my name and my email address. Interesting, considering that they had just emailed me. . . .
Things You Will NeedOn line dating or computer dating requires a credit card. Unlike the family matchmaker you have to pay for the service. You also need a computer. Still, the algorithm is not all bad. Similar to an arranged marriage, the eHarmony founder believed that people of like origin, beliefs and values made better matches than average. Probably a similar level of good looks is important too. What about romance? Interestingly, people in arranged marriages do experience romance. Love comes after the marriage, as they rarely have met more than once or twice before hand. But after 5 years, people in an arranged marriage report a greater increase in their loving feelings for one another and by ten years their love bypasses reports from people who make "love matches." Why is this? Because people in love matches tend to lose their love, while people in arranged marriages seek to build it.
Step 1After I filled in my basic information the page loaded with a questionnaire. I had to confirm my gender again, my age, the number of times I had been married and divorced and my education level. It asked me how important was my mate's age, and mate's education level to me. Age is not a problem for me, intellectually speaking. I get along with older, younger and people my same age. Health is another issue, though. After my last husband, I don't think I can accept a person with chronic pain issues. Education is not nearly as important to me as brains. I've met relatively uneducated people who were very curious and educated people who are obtuse.
Step 2The next page got into the nitty gritty of my likes and dislikes. Would I date a short man? I have in the past. Would I date a man of another ethnicity. I found myself not liking the way the question was phrased. I have dated in the past a Chinese man from China, but I don't know how I would feel about an American-Chinese, or a Malaysian Chinese. It was a confusing question for me. Am I racist? I guess I better be honest with myself if I'm going to find my perfect match.
Step 3The next page was about religion. I used to think since I wasn't any particular religion I didn't mind what my mate was. Then I learned that very religious people aren't happy with non-religious people. After a season I became quite religious myself and then I wanted a mate who shared my religion. At this point I would prefer someone who shared my ethics rather than my religion. Many people who call themselves Christian don't even read the bible. I find that annoying. Many people who call themselves Science of the Mind are mixed up with Tarot cards and astrology - once again, it doesn't jive.
Step 4The next pages were about describing myself. Adjectives were offered, that were either in alignment with me or not. I was encouraged to be honest. Am I adventurous? I don't seek perilous sports, but I do like wandering around in strange cities. It's hard to do surveys. An interview would be easier. If you have a very black and white personality I think the test would be more indicative.
Dear me I got to the end and it was time to upload a photo, in cyber space! Yikes.