The new femininity? Promiscuous or...sexually liberated women?!
Women! The fairer sex...maidens of honour. How beautiful thou art! King Solomon paid homage to them in Proverbs, alluding metaphors of wisdom, virtue and beauty to describe them. In Greek mythology, they were worshipped like sacred goddesses, many of them virginal and pure. Like the biblical Esther, women symbolized chastity, purity and lived dignified lives. A good woman stayed chaste until she married and was a moral fabric in her village. Only a vile woman or harlot indulged in the 'unforbidden fruit' before she was married.
Things have certainly changed since then! Like the telegraph has evolved into the cell phone and like letter writing has evolved into emails and twitters, so too the traditional woman is a thing of the past. Technology and modernization have birthed the modern woman. She is a creation of technology-powerful and vibrant;independent and opiniated. The modern woman has a voice that many years ago was mute. She is Ceo, she is business woman, she is Prime Minister and she is President. Feminists have long rallied throughout centuries for women's rights and women's liberalization. Now finally, women are coming out and showing the world that they are as invincible as men. But...has all this power created a female monster?
Today, many women have decided to be 'fleures rebelles'. They have decided to shy away from traditional thinking and virtues and have decided to create their own rules for living as well as form their own identity. This new identity is sexually adventurous and liberating for many. There is a spirit of sexual energy and unleashed freedom that have pervaded many women's psyche. They work for their own money, drive their own cars, pay their own bills, so why not also be agressive in their sexual choices as well? With many relationships going bad, busy careers and not enough time on their hands to take time to find Mr Right, many women are now resorting to finding Mr Right Now, Mr Convenient and Mr Available In My Bed. And when these options fail, then they resort to mutiple options. Why not have a blend of the three? Why does it have to be one option? Why need it be one man when there are many available bachelors and playboys looking for a bed romp rather than a committment? In other words, many women are opting out of investing themselves emotionally in relationships that may not necessarily bear fruit and are looking for short cut versions of relationships. The logic?
"Men are dogs!"
"'He hurt me alot and I'll never be the same!"
"Guys aren't looking for relationships-just sex!"
"All men are players!"
"I'm too busy for all that relationship drama!"
"Why invest in a relationship when I'll get hurt anyway?"
"They are seeking the same thing that I'm seeking-sex!"
"All the good men are married...or gay!"
Many women today wear masks. Behind the perfectly made up faces, lie many insecurities, hurts and pain. Beyond the professional work suits and bling lie broken hearts...behind the steering wheel of the perfect SUVs and beyond the perfectly painted walls of their houses are torn lives-bruised and battered and in shambles. The liberated face of the woman is just a facade. She doesn't really exist....she is just a insecure, shattered version of the woman of yesterday who is clawing desperately at straws to find her identity.
After a long week of work, they go to parties and clubs, all single gals. Not a day has passed when they have not bad mouthed men. They say men are dogs and that they are collateral damage-once they are gone, you are left with damage and loss! Yet they go to the clubs with the subconscious intention of finding a good "dog" tonight!
"Maybe I'll meet a good dog I can train to do dog tricks tonight!" they say aloud and giggle but inwardly they pray, Lord, find me a good man tonight-pleassse! They are scantily dressed as girls in the club are, showing the right amount of boobs and legs to attract....you know who! They drink in front of the bartender, flirting with their eyes, while talking derisively with their mouths. The bartender winks.
"I don't want any broke man! Please!!" Inwardly they say, I wonder if his smile is real or does he want to screw around with me..? The inner child, broken and self preserving clutches her arms tightly.
They all laugh and talk about work, about the boss and about their two and three year old kids who are still home with the babysitter. A woman has to have her fun, right? They avoid their favourite topic for fear that they might jinx their night. Then they go on the dance floor. Their gyrations exude raw sex, pervading the air and they know the men can sense it. Whether they go home with a prince charming or a frog-either way, they're not going home alone! The men begin to appear, like advertisements, bright and flashing. They gyrate more, swing their hips more. Gonna get me some sex tonight...!
One of the girlfriends get a catch. Her friends snort in disapproval and jealousy. They warn her to be careful and remind her that men are dogs; they are dog- like and no good...blah blah, blah, blah! All she hears now is blah, blah, blah, blah!
Now her friends aren't her friends anymore. They have turned into female dogs and she must protect her prey. She edges away from the girls now to spend some time with her newly found man. She blocks out the echoes of the blah, blah, blah speech. She temporarily forgets that the guy she is now looking at in awe, just ten minutes ago fell into the 'dog' category. After a few drinks, she is loosened up. She is in charge! After all, she's the one with the car keys and the credit cards. She has what it takes to get a man, doesn't she? What the heck! I can do whatever I want-she says inwardly before she makes the plunge. She forgets she has a heart to protect. Her vision is clouded.
She leaves the bar now with her man friend. It's obvious where they're going and what they're going to do. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out! She feels her friends' eyes on her as she leaves. She waves a brief wave goodbye.
When they reach her place, she is in heat. Woman gone wild! All the while she undresses herself, her heart stands naked and awkward as she lets her guard down. They make love, urgent and frantic. As delightful as it is, she worries. She carried him home because honestly she liked him. Could he be one of the good few?
They finish and she smiles at him, her eyes searching his for signs of emotional intimacy but he has had his fun and now it is time to leave.
"Call me?" She prays that she did not sound too desperate.
"Sure I will, doll! I'll call you tomorrow." His voice rings falsely and at that moment she realizes she DID sound desperate. Oh gosh! She hardens herself once more. She turns into the creature she was at the club. She wishes her friends were here now to comfort her and bad mouth this dog!
"Sure...call....whatever!" She knows her voice rings falsely as well. She still hopes as we women all do. She waits twenty four hours. Watches the cell phone until it gets fed up of her watching it. He never calls.... Never calls! Never calls!!!!!
"How was your date?" Her friends ask. They are curious...concerned...mocking. They already know. She masks her shame.
"He was a bore! Sex was alright. I didn't want to see him anymore. He called though."
"He did?" Her friends chorus.( Sure he did! Yeah right!!!)
She goes home-the independent woman, sexually liberated.......broken! Her friends don't see her as she curls up on her bed. She puts on the James Blunt cd. The song is "Same mistake"....
I'm not calling for a second chance. I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason...but don't give me choice cause I'll just make the same mistake...
The song renders true, so true for her situation. It's a song about her life! She feels broken. She is broken china...china that used to be porcelain...
Tomorrow she'll go out again with her friends and repeat all her mistakes over and over again...When will she learn? Never! She shrugs. No one will ever see her pain. Her made up face sings a different tune from what her heart speaks.
She is the liberal woman!
She is the woman with sexual powers!
She will sleep with whomever she wishes!
She will hurt and be hurt!
She will be the female Don Juan!
Sure, why not? Don't the men do it too? They aren't broken and badly wounded! Yet, why is she?
She doesn't yet seem to realize that not every man is a dog and that not every man sleeps around!
She doesn't realize that she just hasn't found the right man as yet and with time he will come!
She doesn't understand yet that women are emotional beings and that every man she sleeps with, she falls in love with, if only for a while, until the next guy comes along....
But what she does know is that she loves James Blunt cause like his song says night after night- she'll just make the same mistake again... ...!