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Things people do under the Influence of Alcohol

By Edited Jul 10, 2015 1 2

Recently some scientist discovered that a little alcohol can actually make you live longer. Since then, I have suddenly develop an urge to live really, really long. Here is a quote by someone named Jack Handey that was published on quote garden's website:

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

When you think of it, there is always a reason to drink alcohol, get drunk, and behave badly. Some will they have money worries; alcohol helps them relax and take their mind off work; some will say they only drink to socialize; I can handle myself correctly and alcohol doesn't have a negative effect on me. The list of excuses is long and seethed with self delusion.

Drink Driving: How many road accidents have been as a result of people driving under the influence of alcohol. The ironic thing about this is that most of them feel they are not drunk. Why is it that some of the drunks will cause an accident and survive it killing innocent people? How do you enforce this issue without banning alcohol?

Fall in Love: Some get married in Las Vegas to someone they hardly know under the influence of alcohol. People tend to lose all inhibitions when they are drunk. Any ugly person will still be unattractive but you will find them irresistible when alcohol plays a part.

Unprotected Illicit Intercourse: In the heat of the moment, you get into bed with a stranger and wake up the next morning wondering what happened. You don't know how you got there or who you slept with. Have you been assaulted or was it consensual? Have you contracted a sexually transmitted disease or have you passed it on to the other person. Was the person under aged and might you be heading to prison? Was it a man or a woman? When you do wake up, you will have a lot of questions with your self esteem below zero.

Dancing: Does alcohol really make you a good dancer? You see this at a lot a weddings when some invitees get overly familiar with the bottle. He might think he is the groom and want to dance all night with the bride. Often, these drunks can't dance and they end up embarrassing everyone. They never seem to be bothered making an ACE of themselves.

Teaching lessons in history: Alcohol can be treacherous and dangerous. How many times have you seen someone drunk who thinks he is a history teacher? If the lesson was about world history you would be ok with it. They have a tendency to reveal embarrassing family secret that leaves everyone astonished and angry. They will reveal who hates who and who has had extramarital affairs. They might even reveal that a child is the result of a love affair. Can you just imagine the damage? You might argue that people should not get involved with things like that if they do not want their secrets revealed. That might be true but it is not an excuse to get drunk and be a jerk.

Throwing up: If you've ever been on a bus and a drunk gets onboard, you will either be intoxicated or asphyxiated. How gross it is to smell someone's vomit. If you let a drunken friend get into your car, you need to be prepared for the worse. You should have a plastic bag handy. Can you deal with someone vomiting all over your dashboard? How disgusting that will be when you have to clean up the mess. The next day you might get a "sorry about yesterday". The stench will remain in your car for weeks.

Talking to Strangers: There must be something in alcohol that encourages people who are usually reserved to become suddenly gregarious. They start up conversations and want to be friendly with you. That is not a problem as such but the bad breath is really a turn off. Who wants to have an incoherent conversation with a drunken stranger? No matter how friendly or charming he might try to be, no one wants such a conversation

Getting into a fight: What is it with Dutch courage? Why do people feel the need to fight when they have had too much alcohol? They fight with each other and anyone who tries to separate them. They don't seem to be bothered about the bruises or injuries that they might have suffered. They will also pick up a fight with passersby just for the sake of it.

Sleeping in the Street: Under the influence of alcohol, it will not matter very much where you spend the night. Some have even tried to spend the night by jumping into a river. They never wake up from slumber. At times some have even been sexually assaulted whilst in the state of drunkenness. You only have yourself to blame if you can't control how much alcohol you drink. Sexually assaulting a person is wrong, no matter what state they might be in.

Smiling and being jovial: Why do drunks always like to tell jokes? Does alcohol stimulate the inner comedic inclinations?

Office Party Affairs: People always have sordid stories to tell about office parties. Most of these have to do with alcohol and people letting down their guards when they are drunk. They might already have a penchant for a colleague and only play out their desire after downing a few pints of lager, spirits or wine. Some lose their jobs after the party and others lose more than that. They lose their jobs, family and self esteem.

Talking to the mirror: Some drunks find it pleasurable having a conversation with the mirror. They can have an argument, discussion, a fight because the person in front of them is also willing to go that extra mile. Maybe that is why people say you see double when you are drunk.

Spousal Abuse: This is unfortunate but a true effect of getting drunk and alcohol abuse. How many marriages have fallen apart because someone becomes violent under the influence of alcohol?



May 25, 2010 6:38pm
LOL...nice article! Drubnk poreple are awsome!!1!2

I missing being able to get drunk :-(

That quote you used in the beginning is from a old Saturday Night Live recurring sketch called "Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey"..It was one of my favorite parts of SNL. This was back when the show was actually funny, back in the 90s. Do you ever get to watch Saturday Night Live in France?
May 26, 2010 12:09am
those with cable tv or internet connection! in france you only get things like desperate housewives!
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