Things we should ask Straight People
Credit: facebook

      As a member of the LGBT community you are used to getting asked inappropriate questions regarding your gender or sexuality. Sometimes cisgender people feel that they have the right to ask you anything they please as you are obviously LGBT and therefore bring it on yourself. My father used to beat me and then justify his actions with the phrase "you bring it on yourself". This stems not only from their moral superiority of the straight world, but the sense of entitlement the cisgender community maintains as if it were written in the stars. A lot of other races and ideologies have tried this philosophy, resulting in millions dead and wounds that last for thousands of years. Everyone in the LGBT community know this and has to put up with inane questions almost on a daily basis. So here I would like to take a bite out of the cisgender privilege by turning the questions on them.  Here are things you should ask straight people when you are being subjected to the third degree simply for being you.

  • Are you straight? I always wanted a straight friend! This objectifies them nicely and just perhaps might give them some insight into how it feels.
  • How do you have sex?: As ridiculous and this question may seem, LGBT people hear it all the time.
  • What are your opinions on Opposite sex Marriage? We subtly attack their institution of opposite sex marriage while they will probably have trouble understanding the question.
  • Are you worried that your children might come out straight? The world today is in a horrible state and personally, I blame the straight people! They are in charge after all so the last thing we need is more straight people messing up the world...
  • What causes heterosexuality? Inquiring minds want to know!
  • Does God hate straight people? After all are not heterosexual people the majority of the people not following Gods word? Look at the state of the planet, thank you straight people. If God hates anyone, and I am pretty sure God hates nothing, wouldn't it be the people who continuously disobey him, destroy Gods creations, murder, rape and burn that might get on to Gods "no-invite" list?
  • There is a straight person in my physics class, should I hook you two up? Of course, because we all know that all heterosexual people are incapable of holding on to a lasting relationship and will date anyone who just happens to be straight.
  • How do you know if you aren't Gay if you have not tried it? Of course we all know that the simple act of sex is so powerful that it will instantly change your gender or sexual orientation to that of whatever you current sexual situation dictates.  Straight people are obviously just people who have not tried Gay sex yet. When you ride motorcycles you find out that there are two type of bikers, ones that have gone down, and ones that are going to go down.  Any questions?
  • I know a straight person named "Bob", do you know him? All straight people happen to know each other by name, it's somehow a genetic thing.

     There are many more questions out there that you can ask straight people about their lifestyle and relationships. All based on stereotyping straight people because well, God hates them and they "bring it on themselves".  I don't have a problem with straight people but, they destroyed the planet. So the next time you see or hear something that disgusts you remember the phrase "that's so straight!"

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