Becoming a Divorced Dad

A few items you'll need to consider.

Divorce and custody fights are all-to-familiar and there is a large chance that you may know somebody that is. At this point, it is not surprising the United States has a divorce rate of 50%. In a lot of custody battles, dads lose out on more because they are generally not the primary caregiver. Here are some divorce tips for dads that can help them keep their rights. 


In many relationships, one person will do most of the working while the other may stay home to watch the kids. This duty can either fall on the husband or wife. When a divorce is filed and finalized, the person that stayed home for whatever reason generally will not have a job or the financial resources to survive. Thus, court-ordered spousal support, or alimony, was introduced to force the financially stable spouse to continue to support the not-so financially stable spouse.

If you are a working dad, it is important to keep working and give for your children even if you know the money is allocated to your ex-wife. Keep a clear mind and know that you are doing this honorable task. It will pay off as your children will grow up acknowledging your hard work and commitment to their livelihood. 

Possession Allocation

You're probably wondering what will happen to all of those goods you and your spouse have acquired over the years. If you play your attorney cards right, you might walk away with half of everything. However, don't expect to get everything you want otherwise you'll probably wind up with less. Judges are there to divide possessions, not pass judgment on whether you'll get to keep the spoons or the forks or even the plastic sporks. Be realistic and compromise as much as possible! The more civil you can be, the better this will go. Once this part of divorce settles, you will most likely own a lot less and will definitely be single!

The whole purpose of this legal entanglement is to become untangled right? Unfortunately, all of your marital items will part ways when the knot becomes untied.

Remember that the health and safety of your children come first. If this means that your ex-wife receives your safe family vehicle or even your house, so be it. Keeping stability for your children is one important aspect. 

Child Custody

Child custody is most likely the hardest part of divorce. Essentially, this is the part in the process that determines who shall receive custodial rights over the children and who will become secondary support. In a heated battle of win or lose, custody battles are extremely difficult, even petty. If not handled well, your children can be effected and begin to blame themselves for what has happened to your marriage. That's a large amount of unnecessary pressure on a child of any age. Kids of any age can be depressed so be aware of your actions.

You are breaking your marital bond with your spouse; not with your children. Do not drag them through the mud to get what you want! It will come back to haunt you, so please keep their best interests in mind. Be civil and compromise when it comes to determining visitation schedules, joint parenting issues, and financial responsibilities.

The more you keep your cool, the faster this will end. If you are a dad, be a man and do the best that you can do to make sure your children will always respect you. 

Child Support

Divorce DecreeOnce the custody battle subsides, the Judge will make a ruling on the issue of child support. Child support refers to the monthly financial needs of your child. And therefore, your child support payments will be used for that purpose. Unfortunately, financial needs of your child can amount to anything your ex-spouse finds necessary. Generally, you will not have much control over where your support is spent unless there are some unacceptable practices going on. Food, shelter, clothing, piano lessons, and goldfish food are acceptable; drug abuse and brand new yachts are not.

Depending on the State that you live in, the Judge will usually issue a court-sanctioned percentage to either be paid by you personally or to be taken right out of your paycheck. The amount will also depend on how much you make and certainly on how many children you have with your spouse. Thus, the child support can account anywhere from 10% to 40% of your paycheck.

Child support is a fact of fatherhood, unless your ex-wife makes more money or was found to be the unfavorable parental unit in the family. The best tip is to keep working to pay your support! Don't break the law. 

Justice for Dads

There are many divorce tips for dads that can make dissolution easier. If you are a dad, remember to always stay strong and keep your cool. Don't be selfish nor say hurtful things. Find ways to move on and heal! There are plenty of blogs for divorced dads with helpful tips and support for those that need it. The more you comply with the process, the easier it will be to keep joint custody and then some! This will be your justice - knowing that you've done your best to stay connected to your son or daughter. 

Divorce Advice : Do & Don't in Divorce

Expert: Dr. Paul Vehorn