Lying is one of the things that I abhor, but after some serious reflection, I found that lies tumble out of my mouth at an embarrassingly frequent rate. Are you possibly a liar too?

1. Everything is fine

I’m fine thank you, is a response which rolls off my tongue automatically like I am one of Pavlov’s dogs salivating at the sound of a bell. More often than not, I am not exactly fine and what I truly mean is I would like to tell you how I’m feeling, but I am not certain that you would care, can help, or if you might criticize me for being anything other than fine. The truth is I’m not giving you a chance to be kind.

2. I can’t do it

When I say I can’t do it, I am merely admitting that I think someone could do the task better. It’s my way of letting myself off the hook whether it’s moving out of state, asking someone out for a date, or volunteering to speak to a group of school children about my career. The truth is I can do almost anything if I prepare myself.

3. It’s your fault

Taking responsibility is fine until I don’t want to take part in it. For example, I think that I’m a superb driver, and I allow myself to get riled when I think others aren’t behaving on the road as I think they should. I lose my temper and then blame the driver in front of me. In truth is I decide how I feel despite the actions others take.

4. I’m not smart enough

To say I’m not smart enough when I have the Internet at my constant beck and call, is a huge lie. It’s not that I’m not smart enough it’s that I’m too lazy to bother with learning, and too lazy to spend the time it would require to acquire a new skill. The truth is I am smart enough to do anything I want to do.

5. No one can help me

Everyone wants to feel special, and if I make my problem more difficult than it is, then I have a certain specialness. In our society, we tend to commiserate on the sad and gloomy instead of the delicious and delightful. If I can always make my problem the biggest in the room, then I’m sure to gather a flock of grumblers and feel uniquely miserable. The truth is there is no problem that can’t be solved if I want it to be solved.

I confess I would prefer to hoist myself above the crowd and declare myself innocent of lying, but I cannot. It’s a humbling and liberating experience to give myself a true evaluation of honesty. It’s given me the chance to be more forgiving of myself and others. How did you rank and what are you willing to change

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