I am sure that they mean well but it is extremely frustrating to watch parents today as they over protect and create unrealistic circumstances for their kids to grow up in. It is not rare for any older person to shake their head in disbelief as they watch the antics and behaviors of parents today as they continually perform mystifying behaviors in the name of parenting that are going to only serve in hurting their lives further down the line. Here are the top three.
- All people go through difficult times in life. Everything is not easy and it is through the struggle that we learn to value the victory. There is nothing wrong with failure as long as it is used as a tool for learning and moving forward. Now Failure is a dirty word and schools and parents try to develop systems that never introduce a failure to any child. That robs children of the chance to reevaluate their actions and try again. Knowing that failure can be overcome is a great life lesson and can be translated into any area of life. Parents have taken this valuable learning experience from their kids by trying to save them from failure. At some point in their lives there is going to be a failure. What is going to happen then?
- Parents need to understand that their childhood was a long time ago and the lives of their children are for them and not for them. Too many live vicariously through their kids and take all of their accomplishments personally. If they fail to make the team or become the valedictorian then they feel it is a reflection of them. Let your kids have their own lives. Let them try to play sports and learn what they enjoy doing rather than having you stand there right behind them each step of the way. It isn’t your accomplishment, let your kids enjoy it for themselves and be there to offer advice if they need it in the end. That is your job.
- Finally the worst mistake that parents make is to set a bad example in any way for their kids. Some parents are obviously on the wrong track when they are using drugs or drinking too much, that should be an obvious thing. The more subtle poor example is to treat other people poorly. It will be difficult for your kids to understand that value of all people if the parents are presenting an example of judgment and dislike for someone in a bad situation or that are different from you. Kids learn to hate and discriminate from their parents and those lessons need to be of caring and acceptance.