rock star(127327)


      If you're transgender and you don’t pass well, people are gonna make sure you know it. It's just something in their nature, they have to classify people as either male or female. Anything outside that gender box and they get very uncomfortable. If they are uncomfortable they are going to try to make you feel uncomfortable. Also for some strange reason, if people think your a transgender individual it is perfectly acceptable for them to give their opinion about you, your lifestyle and what your mother thinks of you. Sadly, everyone out there is not equal. There is a pecking order and you are at the bottom of the totem pole .Here are some ideas that might help you avoid the trans-phobia as you go about your daily life and make your transition easier and more fun.

 Ear plugs or mp3 player

      People will say things just loud enough to make sure that you hear them. They have an opinion about your gender identity and your going to hear it one way or another. Usually they will say it to someone they are walking with. It's the usual stuff, “It's a man!” and “That's just plain wrong”; Love being called an it, not! Wearing ear plugs or listening to music will effectively cut off their opportunity to communicate their displeasure to you. You will go about your business and not even notice the comments. However, if for some reason they think you cannot hear them, they will attempt to make eye contact.

 Wear sunglasses and/or avoid eye contact

      If for some reason they think that you cannot hear them, people will attempt to make eye contact in an effort to communicate their displeasure. However if they cannot make eye contact with you or see your eyes then they do not get the opportunity to express, by the look on their face, an opinion about your gender identity. Just don’t make eye contact with them and they cannot get their message across. It is a simple technique, but very effective.

 Call me miss

      Another common tactic comes from your average store clerks and other minimum wage employees you may come across. “Can i help you, Sir!” or “Have a nice day, Dude!”. I am never sure why they feel the need to do this, totally insulting a customer, but I suspect it's because it is acceptable in our society to harass and insult someone transgender. Normally what I do in this situation is either just keep walking out the door and don’t acknowledge the statement; it is rarely worth it to freak out. The other option I recommend is to simply say “I prefer Miss”, smile and leave it at that. If you feel its necessary you can follow up with management. I was forced to endure a guy from a local convenience store doing that to me until I went to the head office; he no longer works there. We went through a lot of time and trouble to get where we are, so treating us with anything less than respect just isn’t right!

 Get a good wig

      I made this mistake myself for quite a long time. You think you can get away with a cheap wig and no one will notice but trust me, they do. It's like wearing a big giant glowing sign on your head that you are transgender. People will see this as a signal that your different; people don’t like different. If you take the time and effort to get a good wig and have it cut and styled to your face then people are not going to know that your trans from one-hundred feet away. Of course if you have your own natural hair then please just let it grow out. It looks more natural and be less noticeable. It is also more likely that it will match your skin tone perfectly. The less attention you attract means the less trans-phobia you have to endure.

 Walk tall

      The more confidence you carry yourself with the less people will challenge you and just accept the situation for what it is. If they detect that you are not a victim but a confident person going about your daily business as if nothing was up then they are more likely to leave you alone. Good posture will also show off those curve you have been working on.

      I hope some of these ideas help you during your transition to avoid some of the rampant trans-phobia there is out there on the streets. I wish i could say that you don’t have to do any of this but the bitter truth is you do if you want to stay sane and avoid getting hurt every time someone give you a negative response to your gender identity. Each and every one of these tips I have learned myself the hard way during my transition and I still employ them today. The help keep me sane and give me more freedom to move around and keep the wolves at bay. Also remember, your wonderful, your a Rock Star!!

The Transgender Handbook
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(price as of Jul 10, 2016)