Top 20 Favorite Bands of All Time
You don’t have to agree with this list and the truth is, nobody cares about your retarded opinion (shame on me for writing that and shame on you for being gullible). Now that we’ve got that little fact out of the way, you will realize that it is impossible to have a list of the best favorite bands of all time without all hell breaking lose. Some pizza-face teenager will be screaming at the top of her lungs at you for not including Dustin Blieber or the group One Direction. Well, what do you expect from those who listen to music with their mouth open whilst trying to pulp that last pimple. The list is a take it or leave it matter. It doesn’t come in any particular order.
Oasis: Remember those brothers who can’t get along and messed up a good group. What do you expect when you get your inspiration for songs whilst smoking a joint (industry requirement). That said, the group gave the world the song WonderWorld and you can’t argue with that.
Evanescence: I am not even sure why this group is on the list of top 20 favorite bands with their grunge style of rock. However, you have to admit that the song “Bring me to Life” is beautiful and so is the lead singer until she takes off her makeup. You don’t appreciate the comment because you’ve got a crush on Amy Lee? You’ll grow out of it.
The Beatles: The reason this band is on the list is historical so that we don’t get called out for ageism. Do you remember “hey Jude”, or do you prefer “Hey Bieber”?
Cool and the Gang: The good old days when funk was good and rhythm was calibrated. The days before noise became marketable and Simon wasn’t associated with Cowell but with Garfunkel. Remember “Ladies Night” and Celebration? The guitar intro was enough to get you off your feet and shake your arthritis infested hips to the groove.
Coldplay: The only reason this band is on the list is because Martin married Qwyneth Paltrow. Did you know that her middle name is Kate? That it like discovering e=MC2! Ok, what about the song “Viva la Vida” or “Yellow”? You need to hear the live version to understand why Ricky Martin’s “Living La Vida Loca” is not on the list.
Jackson Five: The only reason why Jackson 5 are on the list is because of the guy that invented the moonwalk. That has been a life changing experience for a lot of those who grew up in the eighties before the word “Belieber” was invented and is always trending on twitter.
Queen: You thought the Queen of England was in a rock band in her younger years. Remember “We are the Champions” or “We will Rock You” or “Bohemian Rhapsody”? If you want your mother to freak out, you can call her up and tell her to listen to that last song. If you don’t understand the gist, blame your half-twit parents.
Aerosmith: This bunch of girly men -check out the makeup- made the list because of the song “I don’t wanna miss a thing”. That song killed Bruce Willis but saved the world. What? You didn’t see the movie?
Boyz 2 Men: Suave and they seem to know a lot about making love. You would think the singers have no emotions above the waistline until you hear the songs “End of the Road” and “Water Run Dry”. That was before the likes of N’Sync saw the light of day.
Take That: If you can’t handle boy bands, you might want to look away now. This group is about Robbie Williams and the others. If you don’t get it, don’t worry about it. You should read more intellectual tabloid newspapers for your cultural development. Listen to their famous song “Angel”. That is not a song by the band? You would have had me fooled!
Boney M: They can sing or at least they can fake singing with those quick steps and afro hairdo. Beautiful good old days of lip singing and remixing. Remember the song “Daddy Cool’, “Rivers of Babylon” and “Rasputin”? It’s ironic that every generation has its best 20 favorite bands of all time and this silent movie band is priceless?
TLC: They made the list because Right-eye died in a plane crash. The song “Waterfalls” was aright and those skimpy street outfits made some retailers a lot of cash as teenagers try to be fashionable imitating their idols. By the way, the song Waterfalls picked at number 1 in the US. Just as well, because it could have reached zero.
Bob Marley and the Wailers: You may wonder how this group ever made music when they’ve got locks flowing and ganja popping. You can't argue with the superstar status of Bob Marley and the mother of all songs “No woman no cry”. It seems that only good musicians die young and the really bad ones are often trending on twitter.
Metallica: This band is like a one song wonder! Oh, a lot of their fans will be rolling in their graves after reading that statement. This heavy metal band likes to kill em all and ride the lightening. That is just too deep to comprehend if you are not high enough.The only song worth listening to is a girly song called “Nothing Else Matters”. Hardcore fans will be puking with rage and arguing that “Enter Sandman” is a great song and blah, blah. By the way, any acoustic version of the “Nothing Else Matters” will bring tears to your eyes.
Abba : The Swedish band brought joy and light hearted music to the world. Everyone has been waiting for a reunion and nothing is still in the pipeline. They obviously are still earning millions from royalty that they can’t be bothered to have a comeback. Some dancing queen is likely stalling the negotiations and someone will have to die for the rest of the group to come back together. They did a musical where Meryl Streep did at split in the air. Simply amazing.
The Fugees: The cute Lauren Hill and the others. They gave the world a nice naughty song called “Killing me softly with his song”. That makes death sound so romantic and appealing. They just remixed the song and made a few quid from it. You can’t blame them.
Destiny’s Child aka Beyonce Knowles: This group reminds you of too many things. They can sing, they can dance and they know how to replace those who don’t fall in line. The group did well while it lasted and everyone went on to do solo projects like sing with that guy who sang “it’s getting hot in here…” I am sure you know the rest of the intellectually challenging lyrics.
Red Hot Chili Peppers: This sounds like a Mexican group and it might be. You can tell the members only dream of Californication.
The BeeGees: This group of brothers has been around for such a long time in the music industry that they are just part of the furniture. Unlike most groups that never tend to stay together for so long, the Bee Gees have done well and they gave us “Staying Alive”.
Every other group that is not on the list above.