Al Ngullie


In the beautiful world of ugly mobile phones, there are no sub-title winners. Two of the world’s most expensive mobile phones are also the world's ugliest gadgets which commoners have no option but to suffer. As if weighing the money and ugly together wasn't enough, these hideous gadgets have not only come to disturb people but have also given rise to a new form of phobia called ‘Uglusphonyusphobia’ – the fear of ugly, expensive mobile phones.

Well, I made that up just now, but hey, we do need a name right?

Goldvish Revolution: Pricy Ugh

The Goldvish Revolution is a nice, little, monumentally-ugly mobile phone that comes at a very cheap price of $ 488,150 – if you are Bill Gates. I’m not sure if the saying “A thing of beauty is a joy forever” applies to this second-Guinness Book of Records holder. But there is one specification in this Goldvish piece you will love forever: the precious Gold and diamonds encrusting the ugly gadget. Like, gouge them all out, melt them and viola, cash them and buy a swanky Porche or a Bentley. For all purpose, the Goldvish Revolution looks like its mother was a sole-scraper and someone happened to embed diamonds on its platinum/white gold casing.


Goldvish RevolutionCredit:

The dial clock is a simply beautiful detail too, filling up something where the mouthpiece should be. I strongly suspect that the luxury phone maker wanted you to mind your talk-time charges. Just in case you rake up half a million worth of ugly phone bills. And yes, I’m disappointed too – the battery isn’t even solid diamond.    

Goldvish LeMillion: Ugly Money too?

The price you pay for ugliness is big. I mean I.3 million dollars worth of big ugly. Just ask the Goldvish LeMillion – the (Guinness Book of Records’) most expensive mobile phone in the world.

Goldvish LeMillionCredit:

So what is this hideous thing really? Oh, sorry, that’s a mobile phone – not a back scratcher just in case you missed the whole point. The most interesting “specification” about the LeMillion (obviously Goldvish’s phone designers are all short-sighted) is its multi-functionality: For instance

  • ·         You can scare away muggers by brandishing it as an Arab dagger
  • ·         You can scratch that unreachable spot of itch on your back with it
  • ·         You can use it as a Ninja throwing-spike

Simply put, its functionality is amazingly versatile. Now you know why they say ‘never judge a phone by its cover – it might be a back-scratcher.’ Nice.

Strange it is that almost everything that has ‘gold’ and ‘million’ in its definition seem to be a bit on the yuck side.