When all is said and done the only person you will be left with at the end of the day is yourself. When someone asks for advice about how they can feel good about themselves, they are usually given the most cliché answer such as be confident, exercise and be happy. These answers are so general and open-ended that most of them does not produce any results. Here is a list of the top proven ways to feel better about yourself and appreciate who you truly are.

1)      Stress Out -There are 2 different types of stresses: Distress and Eustress. The difference between the two is distress is the feeling that you get when staring at a pile of unpaid bills, having to come home to a list of chores after a long day, and having an emotionally unstable significant other. Eustress on the other hand is the rush of excitement you get when you accomplish a challenge, watch a scary movie with loved ones, and do exiting things. Keep in mind that what causes Distress for one person might cause Eustress for others. How to know the difference is that if you feel exhausted and drained after accomplishing a certain task then that is distress. On the other hand if you feel a rush of adrenaline or excitement after a completing a certain task then that is eustress. So pay attention to what kind of stress your activities are causing and gravitate towards that which eustresses you out the most.


2)      Become Familiar With Yourself - Psychological research repeatedly points out that people tend to associate happiness with that which they are most familiar with. The way it works is that once a person becomes familiar with something they tend to perceive it as a source of comfort.  One of the most effective ways to develop this comfort with yourself is called “The Reflection Exercise”. How it works is that you need to set 10-15 minutes a day and look at yourself in the mirror. Not just glance at your reflection and walk away but really look at yourself and appreciate your looks.  When you first start it is normal to shy away and stop. Despite you being a good looking person, what you see in the mirror might shake your confidence a little. Keep in mind that you are not looking in the mirror to have someone beautiful staring back at you but you are rather doing it to slowly develop comfort with yourself. But the key here is to look at yourself, be proud of what you see and really familiarize yourself with your physical appearance. After all, recent double blind studies are showing that people associate their self-identity with their physical appearance. Look in the mirror and smile, make funny faces, have a conversation with yourself and please try to remember to do this in private. Having other people think that you are crazy might not really be helpful in your mission to feel better about yourself.


3)      Impress Yourself - Most people try to gain self-esteem and feel good about themselves by impressing others. This is not only ineffective but very counterproductive for 3 reasons. First reason is that when you feel good by impressing others, you only feel good as long as you have their approval. Second reason is that you are giving the others the control over your own self-esteem. Third reason is it makes you very vulnerable to criticism and insults by the person you want to impress to the point that if he/she was not impressed, it would affect your self-esteem. The right way to impress is to solely impress yourself. Do things that will earn your own respect and admiration. The way to do this is to do things that you always thought that you couldn’t do. Also, whenever you are doing something worthy of admiration ask yourself who you are doing it for. If it is for someone else


4)      Pay attention to yourself talk – If someone were to constantly belittle you and pick at your flaws,, it would eventually effect how you feel about yourself. But the thing is the only person that does that is you. If you were to count how many times you said something mean to yourself in one day, you would be shocked. Some people say things to themselves that they would never dare to say to someone else. If you watch what you say and constantly substitute all the negative put downs with positive affirmations, that is one that is no longer undermining your progress.


5)      Protect Your Self-Confidence - One of the worst mistakes you can make is thinking that when you attempt something and fail at it, you lose nothing.When it comes to psychology of confidence, the external damage might be little but the internal damage can be great. Confidence is believing that the outcome of an goal or plan will be success so it is built through accomplishments. When your confidence increases your success increases. When your confidence decreases your success will also decrease. The trick is to reinforce your confidence with accomplishments. So always focus on things that you can accomplish before tackling on bigger projects no matter how little they are. Because in the longs run every failure scratches away a part of your confidence. Do not set yourself up to fail for the sake of being brave. One the one of the worst things you can do is to jump in to a losing battle. After all, even the most impenetrable forts needs to be protected and maintained.