Many dreamers will try to convince you to get married, especially if
you have been seeing someone for a few years. They will paint marriage
as life's expected norm, along with the 2.3 kids and a 30-year mortgage.
However, life itself shows a different reality; at least half of all
marriages end in divorce. One-third of all spouses admit to cheating on
their mates. Countless other "silent" partners experience anguish,
depression, and loneliness in their marriages. The fantasy of married
life may appear all rosy, but the reality is anything but.
Even in the marriages that do survive, personal and professional sacrifices must be made. The full potential of one or both partners is often compromised, with neither party attaining his or her dreams.
In light of such disadvantages, here are yet another 7 reasons why
you should not get married:
1. Guaranteed weight gain. It's no accident that getting married
automatically adds 10-20 pounds onto your frame. Married individuals are
much more likely to be sedentary compared with single folks. The daily
scheduling of mealtimes and restaurant outings quickly leads to weight
issues. If kids are introduced, there is even more meal planning,
baking, cooking, and kitchen time allotted in the day- all leading to
inevitable weight gain.
2. Lost friendships. When you're single, you don't need to explain your friends or their behavior to your mate. You can stay out all night with your buddies and not worry about repercussions. However, once you have a "concerned" significant other in your life, the rules change. Also, if you are in a heterosexual relationship, you can almost guarantee that unmarried friends of the opposite sex will NOT be tolerated. Over the course of your married life, the friendship ties you had with people will diminish or disappear altogether.
3. Limited outside hobbies.
When you're single, it doesn't matter too much if you want to go
straight home from work, eat, and then spend the rest of your evening fishing or kayaking.
However, once you are married, the time for doing such activities will
be limited. You will be fighting to indulge your hobbies with
housecleaning, childcare, and cooking. If such activities are not
planned, then there will be things like family trips, house guests,
in-laws, and so on. With all these additional activities planned, coming
home from work will feel like starting a second shift. It's little
wonder that, after having spent the first half of the day working, and
then the second half of the day looking after the home, the spouse, and
the kids, sex is going to be the last thing on your mind. And speaking
4. Lower quality of sex.
Single folks report that they have sex an average of 46 times per year,
while married folks report a sex average of 96 times a year. This seems
to argue for getting married. However, keep in mind that many married
women also report being unsatisfied sexually. Married men also commonly
report dissatisfaction in the bedroom, due mostly to the infrequency of
sexual intercourse with their wives. As a result of mental blocks and
other issues with spouses, both husbands and wives turn increasingly to
drugs like Viagra(r) and Levitra(r) to put the spark back into their
marriages. Unfortunately, not even drugs can cure problems resulting
from psychological, emotional, and mental issues between partners.
Even when the wife and husband do not have any subconscious issues
with one another, there is a hormonal reason for sexual boredom and
dissatisfaction. Researchers have found that the hormone oxytocin is
found at high levels in couples that have been together for extended
periods of time. Oxytocin is a hormone that is most often associated
with pregnancy and lactation; however, it is also a bonding hormone.
Couples that have been together for a long period of time will have
bonded through the action of oxytocin. Unfortunately, while oxytocin is
great for pair-bonding, it is not so great when one looks at another
Testosterone is a sexual hormone that is involved in sperm
production and secondary hair growth in the male. Testosterone,
however, is not only found in men, but in women as well. The hormone
increases sexual desire in both men and women apparently. Unfortunately, testosterone is also partly inhibited by heightened levels of
So, what happens to married couples who have been together for long
periods of time, experienced a surge in their oxytocin levels, and a
commensurate decrease in testosterone? They end up having really lousy
5. More housecleaning and housekeeping. Let's face it: in any
marriage, one of the spouses will be more of a neat-freak than the
other. That neat-freak "Felix Ungar" spouse will freak when he or she sees
the other partner dropping dirty clothes around the house, leaving a
sink full of dirty dishes, or tracking mud onto the living room carpet.
Meanwhile, the "Oscar Madison" of the couple will find him or herself
increasingly hemmed in by the other partner's constant demands on
tidiness. While the "Odd Couple" situation may have appeared funny on
1970's TV, it is not so humorous in real life.
6. Lost opportunities. Studies have noted that creative individuals such as artists, writers, and scientists are much more productive before marriage than after. Likewise, individuals who marry later in life are much more likely to have successful and lucrative careers in place. Part of the reason for this creativity and drive may be explained biologically: success attracts mates. However, once that incentive has been gained, the drive to be creative and successful might wane.
On a not so biological level, having a mate may impede career
advancement and success in other ways. What happens to the person who is
offered a job promotion in another country? While he or she would jump
at the opportunity to obtain both the promotion and the opportunity to
travel, his or her spouse may be less enthused. A single person would
not need to struggle with such issues.
7. Less spending cash. It would seem that, when two individuals are working, more cash should be available to both of them for fun activities like concerts, vacations, and restaurant outings. This is assumed because rent, bills, and other incidental expenses are being combined into one sum. However, this usually ends up not being the case.
For starters, most couples who get married end up in savings mode.
Not that saving money is bad. However, the reason the money is being
saved up is because now the couple has to look "presentable" and
"responsible". A mortgage must be acquired, a practical (and usually
kid-friendly) car or two purchased, and of course the leather sofa that
is placed into the living room must be comfortable enough for Aunt Mae's
As the couple gets more and more stuff, new bills and down payment plans creep in. Both partners must work harder and earn more money than before in order to keep up with bills. And if kids show up along the way, there are those expenses to consider as well. So, forget about going out and having fun at clubs and restaurants and theaters. Instead, fill your glass with some (reasonably priced) beer and go over your kid's orthodontics bill for the month.