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Top 7 Reasons Why You Should NOT Get Married

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 2 2

Many dreamers will try to convince you to get married, especially if you have been seeing someone for a few years. They will paint marriage as life's expected norm, along with the 2.3 kids and a 30-year mortgage. However, life itself shows a different reality; at least half of all marriages end in divorce. One-third of all spouses admit to cheating on their mates. Countless other "silent" partners experience anguish, depression, and loneliness in their marriages. The fantasy of married life may appear all rosy, but the reality is anything but.

Even in the marriages that do survive, personal and professional sacrifices must be made. The full potential of one or both partners is often compromised, with neither party attaining his or her dreams.

In light of such disadvantages, here are yet another 7 reasons why you should not get married:

1. Guaranteed weight gain. It's no accident that getting married automatically adds 10-20 pounds onto your frame. Married individuals are much more likely to be sedentary compared with single folks. The daily scheduling of mealtimes and restaurant outings quickly leads to weight issues. If kids are introduced, there is even more meal planning, baking, cooking, and kitchen time allotted in the day- all leading to inevitable weight gain.

2. Lost friendships. When you're single, you don't need to explain your friends or their behavior to your mate. You can stay out all night with your buddies and not worry about repercussions. However, once you have a "concerned" significant other in your life, the rules change. Also, if you are in a heterosexual relationship, you can almost guarantee that unmarried friends of the opposite sex will NOT be tolerated. Over the course of your married life, the friendship ties you had with people will diminish or disappear altogether.

3. Limited outside hobbies. When you're single, it doesn't matter too much if you want to go straight home from work, eat, and then spend the rest of your evening fishing or kayaking. However, once you are married, the time for doing such activities will be limited. You will be fighting to indulge your hobbies with housecleaning, childcare, and cooking. If such activities are not planned, then there will be things like family trips, house guests, in-laws, and so on. With all these additional activities planned, coming home from work will feel like starting a second shift. It's little wonder that, after having spent the first half of the day working, and then the second half of the day looking after the home, the spouse, and the kids, sex is going to be the last thing on your mind. And speaking of which...

4. Lower quality of sex. Single folks report that they have sex an average of 46 times per year, while married folks report a sex average of 96 times a year. This seems to argue for getting married. However, keep in mind that many married women also report being unsatisfied sexually. Married men also commonly report dissatisfaction in the bedroom, due mostly to the infrequency of sexual intercourse with their wives. As a result of mental blocks and other issues with spouses, both husbands and wives turn increasingly to drugs like Viagra(r) and Levitra(r) to put the spark back into their marriages. Unfortunately, not even drugs can cure problems resulting from psychological, emotional, and mental issues between partners.

Even when the wife and husband do not have any subconscious issues with one another, there is a hormonal reason for sexual boredom and dissatisfaction. Researchers have found that the hormone oxytocin is found at high levels in couples that have been together for extended periods of time. Oxytocin is a hormone that is most often associated with pregnancy and lactation; however, it is also a bonding hormone. Couples that have been together for a long period of time will have bonded through the action of oxytocin. Unfortunately, while oxytocin is great for pair-bonding, it is not so great when one looks at another hormone, testosterone.

Testosterone is a sexual hormone that is involved in sperm production and secondary hair growth in the male. Testosterone, however, is not only found in men, but in women as well. The hormone increases sexual desire in both men and women apparently. Unfortunately, testosterone is also partly inhibited by heightened levels of oxytocin.

So, what happens to married couples who have been together for long periods of time, experienced a surge in their oxytocin levels, and a commensurate decrease in testosterone? They end up having really lousy sex!

5. More housecleaning and housekeeping. Let's face it: in any marriage, one of the spouses will be more of a neat-freak than the other. That neat-freak "Felix Ungar" spouse will freak when he or she sees the other partner dropping dirty clothes around the house, leaving a sink full of dirty dishes, or tracking mud onto the living room carpet. Meanwhile, the "Oscar Madison" of the couple will find him or herself increasingly hemmed in by the other partner's constant demands on tidiness. While the "Odd Couple" situation may have appeared funny on 1970's TV, it is not so humorous in real life.

6. Lost opportunities. Studies have noted that creative individuals such as artists, writers, and scientists are much more productive before marriage than after. Likewise, individuals who marry later in life are much more likely to have successful and lucrative careers in place. Part of the reason for this creativity and drive may be explained biologically: success attracts mates. However, once that incentive has been gained, the drive to be creative and successful might wane.

On a not so biological level, having a mate may impede career advancement and success in other ways. What happens to the person who is offered a job promotion in another country? While he or she would jump at the opportunity to obtain both the promotion and the opportunity to travel, his or her spouse may be less enthused. A single person would not need to struggle with such issues.

7. Less spending cash. It would seem that, when two individuals are working, more cash should be available to both of them for fun activities like concerts, vacations, and restaurant outings. This is assumed because rent, bills, and other incidental expenses are being combined into one sum. However, this usually ends up not being the case.

For starters, most couples who get married end up in savings mode. Not that saving money is bad. However, the reason the money is being saved up is because now the couple has to look "presentable" and "responsible". A mortgage must be acquired, a practical (and usually kid-friendly) car or two purchased, and of course the leather sofa that is placed into the living room must be comfortable enough for Aunt Mae's behind.

As the couple gets more and more stuff, new bills and down payment plans creep in. Both partners must work harder and earn more money than before in order to keep up with bills. And if kids show up along the way, there are those expenses to consider as well. So, forget about going out and having fun at clubs and restaurants and theaters. Instead, fill your glass with some (reasonably priced) beer and go over your kid's orthodontics bill for the month.



Jun 25, 2010 5:46pm
Although I am happily married, I do agree with most of what you say. The guaranteed weight gain is a definite! Great article, very well written.
Jun 25, 2010 9:32pm
There are pros and cons either way. You have to be the right two people for it to work. I was single for 43 years, which had it's positives and negatives as well.
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