Raising a child is a rewarding experience for any parent, but there is no doubt that there are times where you will be totally worn out. If you have a difficult child, you will experience a lot of hyperactivity.
Kids will always be looking for attention. Then you will really be wandering around with a couple of dark rings around your eyes and not too many happy smiles.
The hyperactive child can leave you feeling drained and if you compare a child like this at a gathering or party with a regular happy-go-lucky kid, you may be wondering, what a lucky parent!
You definitely have to have a lot of energy stored up because this is an adventure you don't want to take too often. It just seemed so much easier with the last child! All they needed was a little pat and kiss to get them going again.
It's another story when a child constantly has tantrums. It seems like you are just giving all the time and you are never winning. Your day is filled with bribes and pleas, but you still see no improvement.
If you take all of your kids out for the day to the beach or the park it will always end up with the difficult child ruining the day with a fight, or finding a way to cause trouble.
Every time you go out, it is almost like something you have to be totally prepared for. There is hardly a week that goes by before you actually hear of some incident which has happened at school, caused by your child, of course.
How to deal with the difficult child?
So we have obviously seen the difficult child is not easy to have to deal with, but if we were able to look at this in a positive way, then we may just be getting somewhere. Is there actually a positive side to raising a difficult child? Yes, of course there is, and you can actually benefit a lot as a parent.
The difficult child is either hyperactive or stubborn or something else, which most parents would not approve of. Your child may have a mixture of these qualities. It's not all bad because transforming him or her into something sweet and special is really rewarding.
Don't shout! - this is only natural and ths is something everyone does. You may think if you raise your voice, things will get better, but to the stubborn child it will make the problem worse and he or she will be more determined to get their way. Yes, kids can be very stubborn.
For kids who shout at you, you may have the impulse to shout back, but instead take note of the positive actions and encourage that. If you see that he is doing something good then tell him. When you see him raking the leaves, then say "Good Job", instead of, "It's about time!"
Don't use force - this is only going to make them fear you
Communication is essential and this will help in all aspects in life, so listen and talk to them all the time. If a child is stubborn it is often because he is looking for attention and this is his way of telling you that he needs more of your time.
Just because you are not shouting does not mean that you should not reamin firm and keep your level of authority. They have to know who is boss and they have to respect you, but there should be a happy medium. If you keep on giving your child the right amount of time then you won't have to look out for signs, like stubborness which tell you that your child is looking for attention.
Dr Stanley Turecku brought out a book with the sole goal of raising the difficult child and the best way to manage this. He states that there are a couple of different areas one needs to focus on where kids are either hyperactive or don't show much emotion.
However, dealing with the situation when kids are young will do you the world of good, because it is going to give them a foundation where they will be able to grow into positive kids, taking any amount of strain off the family.