Why Not Pretend that Every Day is Valentine's Day?
You can learn how to celebrate your love all year long ... not just on Valentine's Day!
Chocolate, roses, and romantic restaurant dinners are the way most of us think about Valentine's Day. Hopefully, we lavish attention on the one we love. In other cases, we keep it simple … with just a Valentine's Day card and bouquet of flowers. Valentine's Day is a wonderful way to remind someone of how much we care. However, have you ever considered how much better your romantic relationships would be if you pretended that Valentine's Day came much more often than once a year? Valentine's Day should be just the beginning ... a way of celebrating the love you feel for each other all the year long. As someone who has been married nearly 45 years, below are a few suggestions for keeping the romance alive.
MAKE VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL
Celebrate Valentine's Day by paying extra attention to each other. My husband and I often skip the dinner in a restaurant that night, because of the overcrowding and difficulty getting reservations at our favorite places. However, we still spend the day treating each other well. We give each other chocolate (yes, we both like chocolate), and he often brings home a little bouquet of flowers. However, that is not the end of it. Whether we go out or spend the evening at home, we take the time to have a cocktail on the patio, just talking with each other. That is, perhaps, the best gift of the day … the time we give to each other!
If you want to surprise your love with an occasional treat, you can use this direct link to Chocolate from Amazon. Then, every once in a while order them some inexpensive treat and have it delivered to them.
Of course, just giving someone you love roses and chocolates is not all you need to do in order to have a romantic relationship.
GIVE YOUR VALENTINE RESPECT AND APPROVAL
If you expect to have a healthy, happy relationship with the person you love, all the year long, you need to let them know that you respect them and approve of them. How do you show someone that you respect them? Listen to them, pay attention to what they say, repeat it back to them if you are unsure what they mean, and look them in the eye when they are speaking. Some people, when they have been together a long time, stop showing each other the love and respect that they did in the early years. It is important to spend a little time each day in quiet, uninterrupted conversation with each other. Those moments of quiet conversation are the real keys to a long-term, loving relationship.
How do you show someone that you approve of them? Say it. Tell your Valentine that you love them … not just on Valentine's Day, but several times a week. Don't interrupt them, or constantly disagree with their opinions. If they have different political or religious beliefs than the ones you hold, simply tell them that you can understand why they believe that way. Let your loved one know that you love them for standing up for their ideas. Tell them you enjoy hearing what they have to say. If, on occasion, you change your mind about something because of issues your partner has raised, let them know. Don't constantly blast them with your ideas. Both of you must be able to say what you believe in a loving, caring and non-judgmental environment. Both of you must take care to not constantly nag the other about their beliefs.
DON'T CRITICIZE YOUR VALENTINE
I heard a marriage therapist say one time that he could tell whether or not a couple would stay married by talking them for just 20 minutes, based on what they said to each other and about each other. If they were critical in speaking to their partner, or about their partner, the marriage had a very low chance of succeeding.
Be your own marriage therapist. Think about the things your spouse says to you or you say to them. Think about the things you say about your spouse when they are not around. Are you building up your relationship, or tearing it down? And, if they say something that hurts your feelings, let them know in a tender, quiet way. If they care about you, they will try to refrain from doing it again.
FORGIVE YOUR VALENTINE
You are both going to make mistakes, be rude, hurt each other's feelings, forget a special occasion, get in a bad mood, be grouchy, or lose your temper. Every relationship will have upsets, and times when you are under stress, and things are just not going well. The important thing is to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and move one. Don't hold a grudge, and don't keep bringing up the past. It is never too late to start a day over!
LAUGH WITH YOUR VALENTINE
Laughter is the best medicine for nearly everything … but it is especially important in building loving relationships. Send each other funny cards … not just on Valentine's Day, but at random times throughout the year. Get a humorous daily calendar. My husband and I have enjoyed "The 365 Funniest Things Ever Said," calendar that comes out every year. In it are famous bloopers and similar errors made by everyone from politicians to people in the courtroom. A lot of the quotes are just silly mistakes people have made, such as when someone said on their insurance claim, "I was just driving down the street and suddenly this tree jumped in front of me." However silly it is, we love our little quote of the day, and it gets the laughter flowing for us each morning.
SHOW YOUR VALENTINE YOUR LOVE, ALL YEAR LONG!
Don't just tell your Valentine that you love them on Valentine's Day, your anniversary, and their birthday. Make a point to say it often. Let this coming Valentine's Day be the start of a new relationship for both of you … one that will last the rest of your lives!
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