If you’ve taken the time to buy vinyl signs, they’ve gotten old and you don’t know what to do with them, then you’ve come to the right place! However, instead of examining what you should do with vinyl signs, we’re going to discuss what you probably shouldn’t do with signs. Keep in mind that this is created purely for humor reasons and that the advice, while true, isn’t quite as silly as depicted in the article:

First of all, do not consume vinyl signs

There are several reasons why you should not consume vinyl signs. The first reasons is—you probably don’t know where that’s been. At least, not before you bought the banners. And even then, you never know. Not to mention that unless you have an overwhelming case of pica, a vinyl sign probably won’t taste all that great. The taste could probably be improved upon with a bit of salt and pepper—maybe a bit of hot sauce if you prefer Cajun seasoned banners, but, in short, don’t eat your banners.

Do not use vinyl signs as a “tosser”

You know how when you were really, really little and you used put one person in a blanket and then lift it up and it was so fun? First of all, vinyl signs get a little worn out after a few years. So you might lift the blanket up…but the person will come crashing to the ground. In one word: ouch. Not to mention that since vinyl banners are made out of plastic, there’s a pretty good chance that someone being tossed up could end with a nasty case of rug-burn…from plastic. Both of these are extremely painful scenarios.

Don’t steal another person’s banner ideas

This is the equivalent to stealing someone’s crayons in kindergarten—insulting! Don’t steal another person’s idea for a banner. Sure it’s the greatest idea ever and you might want to use it…but, really, it won’t do any good. Not to mention that it’ll also cause waves between you and another company. This is never a good idea.

Don’t choose neon, Day-Glo colors

This is one of the leading causes of blindness in the business world—overly bright vinyl signs. Bright colors are fine, but there’s a certain limit. Instead of going for day-glo colors and ending up with a lawsuit for causing everyone who looks at your vinyl signs to go blind, simply choose colors that are a little bit darker and not so fluorescent!