Forty and still a virgin!
By age twenty, the average person would have had at least two sex partners. Virginity, once lost can never be emotionally replaced. Yet many people seem to have no regrets losing their virginity. To some, it is seen as a necessary 'evil' that should be gotten rid of as soon as possible. But what happens when the virgin is forty years old?
A recent survey done on 7000 people showed that 14% of men and 7% in their late forties purported to still being virgins. Immediately, we remember the show, ''Forty year old virgin" in which Steve Carell plays the role of the virgin. We realize that the concept of being forty, a virgin and male does not seem as far fetched as we would think. In reality, there are actual people in their thirties and forties who are still virgins.
Forty years old and a virgin? Immediately we imagine nerdy looking men and women, probably ugly and gawky with teeth missing. But, this is not always the case. Some virgins in their forties are undetectable...attractive, successful and poised, they seemingly blend in well with the rest of their wordly, sexually active counterparts. But what are the reasons that some of us have decided to preserve our virginity at an older age in an era where the culture of being a virgin at forty years old is so extinct that it almost borders on being taboo? Is being a forty year old virgin a cry for help or something to be cherished? Is being forty and still a virgin a blessing or a curse?
When questioned about the reasons for the longevity of their virginity, most virgins have mixed views. Some have decided to keep their virginity for religious reasons. They are waiting to give their virginity to their husbands or wives within the holy sanctity of marriage. Others have not yet found the right person and are still waiting on Mr Right. Others lack sex drive and the motivation to have sex. Some are afraid of the consequences of losing their virginity. Whatever the reasons, virgins in their thirties and forties find themselves under intense pressure by family, friends and love interests to give up 'the goodies' as they call it.
Ironically, what was thought of as an asset at sixteen is now treated as a curse in the thirties and forties. At some point in time, the thirty and forty year old virgin hears at least one of these phrases:
"You're such a prude!"
"Girl, give it up! What are you waiting for?"
"You probably have cobwebs down under!"
"You need to get laid tonight!"
"How are you going to satisfy your man?"
"Something must be wrong with you, child!"
At some stage in their love relationships, the thirty or forty year old virgin will be threatened with break up if they do not have sex with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Most partners are willing to wait only so long before they start making demands for sexual intimacy. In the most common scenarios, when faced with such demands, the thirty or forty year old virgin faces the options of being broken up with by their partner, dumping their partner, giving in to their mate's demands and partaking in sex or finding a person who will be willing to 'wait' on them.
Most individuals who remain virgins at a later stage in life experience consternation when faced with the decision to finally lose their virginity. Psychologists conclude that it is possible they have abstained for so long that now the thought of sex seems threatening. Whereas others may have no problems eventually committing the physical act, others may ultimately remain virgins out of a sense of fear or moral conviction. Some individuals purposefully abstain from sexual acts because they honestly think that sex is wrong or 'dirty'. In such a case, psychogical intervention is required to help the individual understand that the act of sex itself is beautiful when done with the right person,whether it is one's husband, soulmate or one's ideal.
When dating an older virgin, one should be patient and understanding. Try to find out what are the expectations in the relationships and talk things out with one's partner. Do not go into the relationship based on assumptions. If she or he is waiting on marriage, weigh your odds and determine if you can live with this decision. If not, move on.
It is not a crime to be a sixteen year old virgin nor is it a crime to be a forty year old virgin. Virginity at any age is not a mistake and should be embraced. The notion of one's virginity is only relevant because of an absense of sexual intercourse. It is really a lifestyle choice- not a sickness or disease.
Some would embrace the concept of a forty year old virgin while others may reproach it. In this world where sex sells and everyone lives 'in the moment', being a virgin at forty may seem unthinkable. But is it such a bad idea There are some who would view it as a long term investment with lots of benefits-no diseases, no heart breaks, no unwanted pregnancies and no promiscuity. The future spouse of this virgin will reap one long term investment-knowing that he or she has been the 'first'. Treasure or ... curse?
What do you think? Would you wait for a forty year old virgin? Or...would you move on?