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Want a fulfilled relationship? Discover what your partner wants

By Edited Jun 15, 2016 2 2

how to have a happy marriage
Credit: google images

When it comes to intimate life, we all wish for a fulfilled relationship.  We dream of an amazing and passionate love story that will last until the end.

In the beginning of a relationship, it all seems to go well, without any effort. The two lovers experience a lot of passion, adventure and joy. And the amazing part is that all that comes naturally.

Then there's a day when things start to change. This happens usually between six months and two years from the beginning of the relationship. There is a day – the dark day – when the beautiful images seem do fade.  The perfect lover doesn’t seem so perfect anymore and his/her presence doesn’t fill you with positive energy like before.

And it’s strange that the other starts to experience the same feelings – he or she doesn’t respond to your gestures of affection the way you would expect. You sudden discover that you lost your power to influence other’s happiness.

This happens because, after the magic is gone, we tend to give to your partner only what we would actually like to receive. It is very good when the two lovers have the same needs. But if the needs are different, then troubles start to appear…

There are five ways people like to show and receive love. We have them all in our system, but each person has usually a preferred one or two.

If your ways and your partner’s ways of expressing love are different, there’s no wonder that you don’t experience harmony in your couple. It’s like speaking Chinese to an American, and expecting that he’ll understand what you’re saying.

So, if you want to own your lover’s heart, then it’s the time to learn his prefered language, his way of understanding love.

Here are the five languages of love:

1. Words of affirmation

Some people would crave to hear nice words about themselves. I know persons that struggle to do their best at work and they believe that the most important reward is to hear how good they have performed. Even if you give them some material recompenses, they won’t feel really satisfied without hearing some words of appreciation.

In a relationship, for this category of people, it is vital to hear how important they are to their partner. The words of affirmation that they hear from their lover, are like a magic spell that go straight to their heart.


2. Quality time

For some persons, the quality time they share with another, is the most precious thing.

But you must pay attention to the meaning of quality time. Even if you are in the same room with another person and you are watching a movie together, that doesn’t signify that you are spending a quality time. Each one of you is in his inner world and not present for the other.

Some ideas for spending quality time with another person are: having a heartfelt conversation, taking a walk in nature or playing a game together.

The most important is to give your full attention to the other – like that he will really feel your presence.


3. Receiving gifts

Very often, when you want to show your affection to a child, you’ll be tempted to offer him a present. Maybe that’s why a lot of people give a lot of importance to gifts.

For this category of people, receiving of offering a gift has a deep meaning. This gesture is a proof of love.


4. Acts of service

“If you love me, then you’ll take out the trash!” or “I took your car to the service because I love you”. Seems familiar?

It may seem kind of silly for those who don’t consider services very important. But for those who have this language of love, receiving a service it’s the most convincing proof that their partner cares for them.

5. Physical touch

The physical touch is the most ancient way of receiving love. When we are babies, the physical contact with our mother is an important factor to our development and even to our survival.

It’s a very profound way of showing love, so it's not good to underestimate it.


Now that you know which the five languages of love are, the next step is to discover which one is your partner’s favorite. Then all you have to do is to find creative means to communicate your love in a way that your partner can understand it.

I’m sure that paying attention to your lover’s wishes will make him very happy and in time you'll gain a fulfilled relationship. Don’t think that you should get your satisfaction first. Just focus on your partner and thing will be better and better for you– we all know that a happy person will share a lot of happiness with those around her.


All the best!





Dec 7, 2012 10:09am
Hi--I am still digesting what you say in your artcile but I believe that their is some wisdom in what you have said. 2 thumbs up from me
Dec 9, 2012 2:44pm
Thank you Marlando! It's wise to question things and not take them for granted. It's true that there are always exceptions, but for most of the couples I know these rules are true. :)
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