No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you will eventually encounter a "hater." Or, as I refer to them, the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly. These are the folks who have nothing better to do than to try and bring other people down. They say hurtful and nasty things about others with no regard for anyone but themselves and their selfish motives.
Watch out for the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly. They're everywhere, and they are especially busy online. I've come across a few, and now I recognize them for who they are. I no longer waste my time dwelling on their words or opinions. These folks are as useless to me as a counterfeit dollar bill. As a matter of fact, I'd appreciate the counterfeit bill more than the pessimistic person’s thoughts.
Watch Out for the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly
One Bad Apple
I did not always have a thick skin. The first time I encountered a hater I was surprised, and I began to doubt myself. It happened a few years ago, during a time when I'd just become aware of backlinking and bookmarking sites. I was learning how to use these sites, and I was posting some of my early work on them.
I'd had positive experiences with most of the sites until one day when I posted an article that I was pretty pleased with along with a brief blurb. I really liked the article and believed it was creative. The piece showcased some photographs that I had taken. The next morning when I logged on to the site I had a message. "Wow!" I thought, "Someone found my article and liked it enough to leave a note." Boy, was I wrong. I clicked on the message only to read the following unfavorable comment, "I was going to add a link to the article since you neglected to, but decided it wasn't worth it." Ouch! I must admit, that stung. I was surprised and saddened at the same time.
Be Helpful Not Hurtful
As I sat and re-read the negative toned message, what didn't originally occur to me was that the person just wanted to be rude. He/she could've just not said anything, or, if the person really wanted to help they could have explained how to correct the link issue.
But the person tried to use their keyboard as a bully pulpit with their rude and unsolicited opinion. The person felt a need to feel superior and put a band aid on their low self-esteem by putting me down. If this person thought they were helpful (even remotely), they were not – they were hurtful.
This individual was not trying to help; this person was just out to criticize. You will know by the tone and the words a person chooses to use what their motivation is. You can tell whether they really want to help or if they're just out to criticize.
A few days after receiving the negative message I decided to give the "haters" names, and I decided never to let those types of individuals bother me again. The “Gloomy Grump” and the “Negative Nelly” are sad, angry, and pessimistic people who have nothing better to do than put other people down. If they were successful or good at what they did, they would not have to say mean things to feel better about themselves.
You're Not Alone
If you've ever been "attacked" by a Gloomy Grump or Negative Nelly, relax, you are not alone. The next time it happens try to remember that the person spewing negativity knows absolutely nothing about you, and it is they who have the problem. Not you. More than likely they are dissatisfied with themselves, and you may have struck a nerve with something you wrote.
If you ever feel bad about yourself because of something someone said about you or your work, give yourself a few hours or a day to reflect on the issue. If there are any truths in the statement, take it as a gift. More than likely, however, the criticism will be without merit.
You need to forget about the bleak person. Try to get yourself back in the right frame of mind by listening to your favorite music, reading a book, writing, or going to the gym. Moving your body through some type of exercise such as dancing or even taking a walk works wonders. When you move, you release those much-needed endorphins. They will help make you feel better about yourself. Also, call a trusted friend or relative who "has your back" and pour out your heart. Say it and then release it.
Don’t hold on to the hurt feelings! I can tell you one thing the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly are not dwelling on their hateful words and feeling bad about themselves. So, why should you? Let it go and move on. Say a prayer, not only for yourself but for the person who disparaged you, this can lift your hurt feelings and help you become indifferent to the negativity. Most importantly, continue with your journey and learn to appreciate the positive more than dwell on the negative.
About three weeks after receiving the adverse comment, the article that "wasn't worth it" was chosen as a Featured Article on another site. Several people read the piece, and many posted favorable comments. One reader wrote, "Fabulous article. Congratulations on [the] feature, it is the best I've seen yet, honest. Great pictures. Thumbs up for sure." The words of a positive person are superior to any from the Gloomy Grump or the Negative Nelly, and success is the best revenge.
Don't Look Back
Watch out for the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly. Too many of them claim they are critical under the guise of "constructive criticism," but their words are mostly criticism with little or no constructiveness. If these individuals really wanted to help, they would lose the criticism and just give constructive advice (but only if they're qualified to do so).
I've gotten over the comment, continued on my journey with no regrets, and I'm not looking back. My goal is ahead of me not behind me.
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