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Watch Out for the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly

By Edited Oct 19, 2015 8 22
Cartoon Face - by DebW07
Credit: ©2015 DebW07 – All Rights Reserved

No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you will eventually encounter a "hater." Or, as I refer to them, the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly. These are the folks who have nothing better to do than to try and bring other people down. They say hurtful and nasty things about others with no regard for anyone but themselves and their selfish motives. 

Watch out for the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly. They're everywhere, and they are especially busy online. I've come across a few, and now I recognize them for who they are. I no longer waste my time dwelling on their words or opinions. These folks are as useless to me as a counterfeit dollar bill. As a matter of fact, I'd appreciate the counterfeit bill more than the pessimistic person’s thoughts.

Watch Out for the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly

One Bad Apple

Angry Facd
Credit: ©2015 DebW07 – All Rights Reserved

I did not always have a thick skin. The first time I encountered a hater I was surprised, and I began to doubt myself. It happened a few years ago, during a time when I'd just become aware of backlinking and bookmarking sites. I was learning how to use these sites, and I was posting some of my early work on them. 

I'd had positive experiences with most of the sites until one day when I posted an article that I was pretty pleased with along with a brief blurb. I really liked the article and believed it was creative. The piece showcased some photographs that I had taken. The next morning when I logged on to the site I had a message. "Wow!"  I thought, "Someone found my article and liked it enough to leave a note." Boy, was I wrong. I clicked on the message only to read the following unfavorable comment, "I was going to add a link to the article since you neglected to, but decided it wasn't worth it." Ouch! I must admit, that stung. I was surprised and saddened at the same time.

Be Helpful Not Hurtful

Credit: pixabay.com

As I sat and re-read the negative toned message, what didn't originally occur to me was that the person just wanted to be rude. He/she could've just not said anything, or, if the person really wanted to help they could have explained how to correct the link issue. 

But the person tried to use their keyboard as a bully pulpit with their rude and unsolicited opinion. The person felt a need to feel superior and put a band aid on their low self-esteem by putting me down. If this person thought they were helpful (even remotely), they were not – they were hurtful.


I became introspective after reading the negative message. I thought (and thought) about the possible reason(s) this person would not like my article and where "I" went wrong. My pity party lasted for one night. The next morning I decided I would not let someone's opinion control how I felt about myself, especially since I didn't even know the person or their motives. 

This individual was not trying to help; this person was just out to criticize. You will know by the tone and the words a person chooses to use what their motivation is. You can tell whether they really want to help or if they're just out to criticize. 

A few days after receiving the negative message I decided to give the "haters" names, and I decided never to let those types of individuals bother me again. The “Gloomy Grump” and the “Negative Nelly” are sad, angry, and pessimistic people who have nothing better to do than put other people down. If they were successful or good at what they did, they would not have to say mean things to feel better about themselves. 

You're Not Alone

community-5 . . .75_640
Credit: pixabay.com

If you've ever been "attacked" by a Gloomy Grump or Negative Nelly, relax, you are not alone. The next time it happens try to remember that the person spewing negativity knows absolutely nothing about you, and it is they who have the problem. Not you. More than likely they are dissatisfied with themselves, and you may have struck a nerve with something you wrote. 

If you ever feel bad about yourself because of something someone said about you or your work, give yourself a few hours or a day to reflect on the issue. If there are any truths in the statement, take it as a gift. More than likely, however, the criticism will be without merit. 

You need to forget about the bleak person. Try to get yourself back in the right frame of mind by listening to your favorite music, reading a book, writing, or going to the gym. Moving your body through some type of exercise such as dancing or even taking a walk works wonders. When you move, you release those much-needed endorphins. They will help make you feel better about yourself. Also, call a trusted friend or relative who "has your back" and pour out your heart. Say it and then release it. 

Don’t hold on to the hurt feelings! I can tell you one thing the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly are not dwelling on their hateful words and feeling bad about themselves. So, why should you? Let it go and move on. Say a prayer, not only for yourself but for the person who disparaged you, this can lift your hurt feelings and help you become indifferent to the negativity. Most importantly, continue with your journey and learn to appreciate the positive more than dwell on the negative. 


Credit: Pixabay.com

About three weeks after receiving the adverse comment, the article that "wasn't worth it" was chosen as a Featured Article on another site. Several people read the piece, and many posted favorable comments. One reader wrote, "Fabulous article. Congratulations on [the] feature, it is the best I've seen yet, honest. Great pictures. Thumbs up for sure."  The words of a positive person are superior to any from the Gloomy Grump or the Negative Nelly, and success is the best revenge.

Don't Look Back

Watch out for the Gloomy Grump and the Negative Nelly. Too many of them claim they are critical under the guise of "constructive criticism," but their words are mostly criticism with little or no constructiveness. If these individuals really wanted to help, they would lose the criticism and just give constructive advice (but only if they're qualified to do so). 

I've gotten over the comment, continued on my journey with no regrets, and I'm not looking back. My goal is ahead of me not behind me.

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Feb 16, 2011 1:22pm
Right on, very well said. I call them Gloom(guy) and Doom (girl).They live among us.
Feb 16, 2011 6:05pm
Thanks Lynsuz!
Feb 16, 2011 9:47pm
Very introspective (LOL) and right on! Good advice, too.
Feb 18, 2011 2:47pm
LOL! Thanks to you footloose!!
Feb 16, 2011 11:10pm
Great advice. We can eat ourselves up with worry , and even have our work slowed if we let other people's negativity affect us. On the other hand,isn't it great that being around postive people can lift our spirits and help us relax enough to be more productive?
Feb 18, 2011 2:48pm
Hello bayoulady, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, I really appreciate it!
Feb 17, 2011 2:17pm
Bravo! Thanks for sharing your experience and your advice!
Feb 18, 2011 2:45pm
Diva! It's nice to hear from you. Thank you!
Feb 18, 2011 1:14am
Methinks "Gus & Nelly" are just jealous. Seriously, I think you are correct - they are insecure, dissatisified and just want everyone else to feel that way too. Great article.
Feb 18, 2011 2:46pm
I appreciate your comments, thank you so much Venetia!
Feb 20, 2011 6:11am
This was probably someone trying to intentionally hurt you. Generally, if we read something that we don't like, we quickly move on without taking the time to make a comment. Just remember the saying, Don't Worry, Be Happy! lol
Feb 22, 2011 10:49pm
Thanks for your comment pwarlick!
Feb 23, 2011 12:17am
You're so right and I really appreciate your 'introspective' view in the way you write:) Sorry that happened to you but, these things in life do make us all stronger and success IS the best revenge for sure. Congrats on your continued success here and in all your endeavors:)
Feb 23, 2011 10:47am
Hello vetochemicals; I agree, we can get stronger from the negative things we encounter in life. Thanks so much for your comment and words of encouragement!!
Feb 26, 2011 7:36pm
Great article, Introspective. I know newbies (like myself) worry about their writing skills and wonder if the stuff they write is even worth being read by others. I loved that your article was featured! Take that Gloomy Grumps and Negative Nellys!! ;-)
Mar 23, 2011 11:44am
Hello Chomina, I've read some of your articles and you have nothing to worry about! Continue doing what you love and don't let the GGs or the NNs get in the way! Thanks so much for the comment!
Mar 17, 2011 8:55am
Great advice in this article. Ann Landers used to tell people to minimize their contact with "toxic people" who upset us, or bring us down. I think that is always good advice!
Mar 23, 2011 11:42am
I try to minimize my contact with "toxic people" but sometimes they are unavoidable. Thanks for the comment D-D!
Mar 17, 2011 5:31pm
Thanks for sharing your gloomy grump and negative nelly experience. Occasionally, we come in contact with these unhappy people who want to share their unhappiness with us. You handled it beautifully.
Mar 23, 2011 11:39am
Thank you SG09, I appreciate your comment.
Mar 25, 2011 12:43am
I think we have all been put down buy these unhelpful arrogant sort of people. Once we understand that their comments are just what they are useless, then we have to get on with our writing and ignore anything they say.

They are the losers in the long run, Sadly it is the new writer that can be deterred from writing because of these type of thoughtless awful and sad people. I was for a long while then I woke up that I love to write and now dont take any notice of that type of person. Well done A1 rated up
Mar 25, 2011 4:11pm
Thank you so much eileen! I'm so glad those negative folks did not deter you from writing, we would have missed out on so many wonderful articles had they succeeded!
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