Admittedly I am a failure at long-term relationships.  You can ask my x-wives.  They will be happy to verify that.  Because of my x-wife record I decided that maybe it was time to explore just why I was so bad at relationships and what I could have done differently.

After many long hours of soul searching I think I’ve found out where the problem lies.  It is based on two sets of three words that, when said, can only mean your demise.

The first set of course would be “I Love you.” They are beautiful words that can get you into so much trouble it is nearly impossible to back out of it.  Of course if you really do love someone then it is okay to say those words but you better be 100% sure or you’ll sink in the quagmire of guilt, regret and loneliness for a very long time.  I distinctly remember the first time I even considered saying to someone “I Love You.”  I was fourteen years old with hormones running rampant.  I told my brother that I was going to tell my girlfriend that I loved her.  He said “yea, right.”  I should have listened.  But I went right ahead and told her.  She too was in the grips of hormones running amuck and there we were, doomed by words that were said and having no idea what being in love was all about.  Five years later I married her.  I still had no idea what true love was but I certainly was willing to give it a try.  After all, in those days, if you dated someone for more than a year you were expected to get married.  So I did.  I should have known what was going to happen when the preacher, on my wedding day, took me aside and said “be very careful.  You have a responsibility to provide, love and cherish this woman for the rest of your life.”  What was that supposed to mean?  I thought to myself, of course I would do all of those things.  Right after I got home from my second minimum wage job.  Well, putting your wife in second place behind your work is not a wise decision.  But who knew?  She too continued to say I love you but was not so good at showing it.  That is unless you consider complaining, yelling and going home to mother a loving relationship.  Eventually it was over.  Neither one of us knew exactly why.  It just happened.  So my advice to you on the first set of three words man should never say is this, never say them without knowing exactly what you’re saying.  The person you hurt could be yourself.  Of course the other person wouldn’t mind helping out in the hurt department should you invite it with hurtful words, lack of attention etc.  It would probably be best not to go down that bumpy road.

The second set of words that man should never say have a direct correlation to the first set.  They are I’ve Had Better.  Uttering these words, regardless of time and location, is never a good thing.  You are taking your life into your own hands.  Here are a couple of examples that you might want to avoid.

Let’s pretend that your mother-in-law has just cooked her famous meatballs.  Now meatballs are one of your favorite foods and you’ve been looking forward to this taste delight for a few days.  Everyone is sitting around the table and dinner is served.  Well now, that’s interesting, the meatballs are a little dry, the sauce in which they’ve been cooked for hours is a little crusty and when the meatball is bitten it seems to be a little on the dry side, not unlike sawdust.  Caution now, be very careful in your response to “How do you like them?”  You are now on very thin ice.  Not the time to say “I’ve Had Better.”

In our second scenario let’s say that you’ve just had a rather intimate time with your wife.  She wants to talk.  You want to sleep.  She doesn’t understand and attempts to stimulate some meaningful conversation.  She begins by saying, “Wow that was great.”  You smile and say “thanks.”  She continues “How was it for you?”  I would strongly suggest that the words “I’ve Had Better” should not be spoken out loud at this time.  Of course if you don’t mind sleeping on the couch, go ahead, but I think silence in this case would be an excellent piece of advice and should be headed.  Even if you really have had better… well, enough said.

We all have choices to make in our lives.  Careful consideration should always be given to those that will have long-term consequences.  I’m sure by now you understand, right?

Perhaps three word phrases such as “that was great” or “isn’t she special” would be better suited to your living a long and happy life.

Choose wisely.  The life you save could be your own.