There are many things that can kill a marriage but did you know that the one most often cited in divorce papers is that they simply don't love their spouse anymore? Feelings of love or lack of love can easily make a couple drift apart and once that happens divorce becomes the next step. So how can you prevent this from happening to you and if you are already in the middle of a loveless relationship, how do you fix it and right the ship? The first step is to actually display your love and actively pursue your partner. Chances are good that if you think that your marriage is on the outs, that you will likely do the exact opposite. And this will only aggravate an already tense situation. If you are looking for tips on how to save your marriage, then you have come to the right place.
Love is about the action you take...feeling are the reciprocal part that happens from the action...
If you are on the side in which you don't love your partner anymore, simply by being affectionate to your partner and showing that you love them may be enough to change your feelings about your marriage. It has been documented by psychologists that feelings almost always follow actions.
If you are willing to give this a try then I think you will find that your marriage is not dead and that the things that you do have just as much impact on how you feel about your marriage as it will on your partner that you are expressing your feelings to.
Here are some tips that will help you NOT kill your marriage:
- Express your feelings for your partner through compliments. They will be just as gratifying to you as to your partner and will help replace the negative feelings you may be harboring to your husband or wife. Expressing and complimenting will reaffirm your love and help keep your mind off the negative things or things that you hate in your marriage.
- Don't be sarcastic or angry when you are talking to your spouse. These types of negative interaction reinforce why you think you shouldn't be married. There is a saying that my grandma used to say that works very well with this point- If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all.
- Listen to your spouse. This will be harder for men in most cases than women but will help to reaffirm that what your spouse has to say is important. For your spouse, this means that they will feel like an important part of your life. For you, this means that you are interested in reconnecting. This is very important. Ask open ended questions. Engage in the conversations rather than simply respond. Basically, be like what you two were like when you first met. You do remember what and why you found your spouse interesting, right?
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