Many people give advice about how to break up with someone. The information that seems to be missing is what to do after the breakup. Men and women respond differently to the dissipation of a relationship. But, regardless of their differences they both are emotionally drained after a break up. Because of this there are some things that both can do to make this transitional period smoother.
Keep Yourself Busy. Sometimes the worst thing in the world is idle time. It is a good idea to plan things to do during this initial period after the relationship. This is a good time to go and see friends or visit some sites in your city that you hadn’t been to before. Work on bettering yourself through classes or challenge yourself to a new level of fitness. This will keep you focused on something other than your ex.
No Contact. It is difficult for some people to totally cut themselves off from the person they have been involved with. If you want a fresh start, this is exactly what you need to do. Some people believe after the relationship is over they can still be friends. While this is possible, immediately after the relationship ends is not the time. Don’t call him or her, drive by their place or any other risky behavior. If so, you may find yourself being arrested for stalking. Give yourself time to rebound from the relationship and clear your head. Sometimes a person is easily manipulated when their feelings are still involved and they are seeing the ex. If you are not good enough for the relationship, don’t allow yourself to be used for anything else.
Figure Out the Lesson. Life is a journey full of lessons. In every aspect of our lives we are constantly learning something about life and about ourselves. Once the relationship is over; take the time to understand the mistakes that were made on both of your parts. Take responsibility for the role that you played in the demise of the relationship. That could be something as simple as understanding why you stayed as long as you did knowing you were being treated badly. It is significant to learn this lesson so that you don't repeat it.
Don't Rush Into Another Relationship. Immediately following a breakup you may find that you feel very vulnerable. This is the time to avoid starting new relationships. Make sure you are over your ex before starting a new relationship. If you attempt to jump into the next relationship while still trying to get over the previous one, you may find yourself headed for disaster. If you happen to meet someone that interest you; start out as friends only. Should they want the relationship to move along faster, let them know you are not ready for that type of commitment yet. Someone that truly wants a relationship with you will wait until you are ready.
Be Grateful. Some people get very depressed after a breakup. To fight this sadness, start a gratitude journal. Write down at least three things each day you are grateful for. There is a big world out there and many positive experiences just waiting for you. Make each day better than the one before by being grateful for what you already have and looking forward to the accomplishments you will make in the future.
Forgive Your Ex. Holding a grudge against someone only hurts you. The time you spend being upset or hating that person is time taken away from your happiness. Nobody deserves to have that type of power over your life. Do you think your ex is somewhere thinking about you? Well the truth is, they are probably not. They have moved on with their lives and so should you. So forgive them and move on.
Breaking up with someone you care about is difficult, but it can also be a time of introspection. Take some time after the breakup to do something special for yourself, be grateful for what you have and learn the lesson. Remember, everyone that comes in our life won’t be there to stay. Enjoy your friends, your family and your life. Know this, another person will come along and you will share your time, energy and love with them. Use this guidance so that you are prepared when they show up. Love Again, because everyone deserves love and that includes you.