What To Do If Your Child Is A Juggalo or Juggalette
Warning Signs That Your Child Might Be A Juggalo or Juggalette
I can't imagine anything worse for a parent, than realizing that your precious child is a juggalo. For those of you that don't know what a juggalo is, they are a group of super fans for the rap group Insane Clown Posse. Typical juggalo attire usually consists of wild baggy pants, an Insane Clown Posse t-shirt, clown makeup, and greased hair. The juggalo dress code is one of the main signs that your child might be a juggalo, however there are many other warning signs.
Insane Clown Posse fans are usually listening to Insane Clown Posse (ICP) music, or other similar artists. The Insane Clown Posse's music can easily be distinguished, because it is talentless, mindless, dribble, filled with vulgar profanities and exists only for the purpose of shock value, and is lacking in any sort of respectable musical merit. If you hear Insane Clown Posse rap songs pouring from beneath your childs closed door, this is a huge warning sign that your child might be a juggalo.
Another warning sign that your child might be a juggalo, is the presence of Faygo soda. Juggalos love Faygo soda more than life itself, and will constantly be drinking the substance. If there are several empty Faygo soda bottles in your childs room, this is a sign that your child might be a juggalo.
The last major warning sign that your child might be a juggalo, is the lack of hygene. Juggalos are typically overweight and greasy, usually going weeks without bathing. If your child eminates a disgusting odor wherever he or she goes, they might be a juggalo. Juggalos take pride in there disgusting, repulsive smell. Look at the types of people your children are hanging out with. Juggalos usually are only friends with other juggalos, because juggalos do not work well with actual productive members of society.
Popular juggalo hangout areas are usually vacant parking lots, beside dumpsters, or in packs of other wild juggalos inside of the mall. Juggalos like to terrorize elderly people and children with their bizarre fashion tastes. In several places, juggalos have been listed as an actual gang. They sometimes wreak havoc because of the violent nature of several Insane Clown Posse songs, and sometimes have even been known to murder people who are not juggalos. Being a juggalo is a serious issue.
If you see the warning signs that your child might bea juggalo, do not panic. There is still hope, and I will explain to you what to do if your child is a juggalo. Just because your child is a juggalo or juggalette does not mean that he or she is forever doomed for a terrible existence. Yes, it is very embarassing and all dignity is casted away when one is a juggalo or jagalette, but salvation is actually possible.
The first thing to do if your child is a juggalo or juggalette, is ground them from listening to the horrible sounds of Insane Clown Posse. Not primarily because of the vulgarity instilled in the lyrics, but mainly because of the tacky embarassment that surrounds Insane Clown Posse's music. There is nothing respectable at all about their rap music. Critics as well as society will completely agree. Purchase some good music for your children (I've compiled a list of fresh, upcoming releases that will be much more pleasing to your childrens ears). Purchasing good, quality music is the first thing I suggest as to what to do if your child is a juggalo.
The next thing to do if your child is a juggalo, is force them to bathe, then take away their clown makeup. This will help them in the long run of life. It may be hard to get your juggalo or juggalette child to bathe at first, however, demanding it from them is always an option. Bathing is the first step to recovery for a juggalo or juggalette, and once your juggalo or juggalette child takes a bath and quits wearing embarassing clown makeup, more people might actually want to be around them. This newfound acceptance will help eliminate the sadness and pointless teenage angst that usually surrounds the smelly juggalo/juggalette.
The last thing to do if your child is a juggalo, is educate them on how embarassing being a juggalo actually is. Tell them how uneducated and trashy the juggalo lifestyle comes off, and explain to them that a group of rapping clowns is just silly. If you sit down and be real with your children about how awful societies perception of the Insane Clown Posse is, they might see the foolishness in their lifestyle.
Hopefully you now understand what to do if your child is a juggalo. I hope this article also explained in detail the different warning signs that your child might be a juggalo. This article was not written to offend anyone, but help open the eyes of some parents that may have juggalo children. I've encountered many juggalos who do not have a shed of respect for anyone, and I can sympathize with any parent who may be cautious that they have juggalo/juggalette children. I hope I've helped you figure out what to do if your child is a juggalo.