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What To Do If Your Child Is A Juggalo

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 0 12

What To Do If Your Child Is A Juggalo or Juggalette

Warning Signs That Your Child Might Be A Juggalo or Juggalette

I can't imagine anything worse for a parent, than realizing that your precious child is a juggalo. For those of you that don't know what a juggalo is, they are a group of super fans for the rap group Insane Clown Posse. Typical juggalo attire usually consists of wild baggy pants, an Insane Clown Posse t-shirt, clown makeup, and greased hair. The juggalo dress code is one of the main signs that your child might be a juggalo, however there are many other warning signs.

Insane Clown Posse fans are usually listening to Insane Clown Posse (ICP) music, or other similar artists. The Insane Clown Posse's music can easily be distinguished, because it is talentless, mindless, dribble, filled with vulgar profanities and exists only for the purpose of shock value, and is lacking in any sort of respectable musical merit. If you hear Insane Clown Posse rap songs pouring from beneath your childs closed door, this is a huge warning sign that your child might be a juggalo.

Juggalo 1

Another warning sign that your child might be a juggalo, is the presence of Faygo soda. Juggalos love Faygo soda more than life itself, and will constantly be drinking the substance. If there are several empty Faygo soda bottles in your childs room, this is a sign that your child might be a juggalo.

The last major warning sign that your child might be a juggalo, is the lack of hygene. Juggalos are typically overweight and greasy, usually going weeks without bathing. If your child eminates a disgusting odor wherever he or she goes, they might be a juggalo. Juggalos take pride in there disgusting, repulsive smell. Look at the types of people your children are hanging out with. Juggalos usually are only friends with other juggalos, because juggalos do not work well with actual productive members of society.

Popular juggalo hangout areas are usually vacant parking lots, beside dumpsters, or in packs of other wild juggalos inside of the mall. Juggalos like to terrorize elderly people and children with their bizarre fashion tastes. In several places, juggalos have been listed as an actual gang. They sometimes wreak havoc because of the violent nature of several Insane Clown Posse songs, and sometimes have even been known to murder people who are not juggalos. Being a juggalo is a serious issue.

If you see the warning signs that your child might bea juggalo, do not panic. There is still hope, and I will explain to you what to do if your child is a juggalo. Just because your child is a juggalo or juggalette does not mean that he or she is forever doomed for a terrible existence. Yes, it is very embarassing and all dignity is casted away when one is a juggalo or jagalette, but salvation is actually possible.

The first thing to do if your child is a juggalo or juggalette, is ground them from listening to the horrible sounds of Insane Clown Posse. Not primarily because of the vulgarity instilled in the lyrics, but mainly because of the tacky embarassment that surrounds Insane Clown Posse's music. There is nothing respectable at all about their rap music. Critics as well as society will completely agree. Purchase some good music for your children (I've compiled a list of fresh, upcoming releases that will be much more pleasing to your childrens ears). Purchasing good, quality music is the first thing I suggest as to what to do if your child is a juggalo.

The next thing to do if your child is a juggalo, is force them to bathe, then take away their clown makeup. This will help them in the long run of life. It may be hard to get your juggalo or juggalette child to bathe at first, however, demanding it from them is always an option. Bathing is the first step to recovery for a juggalo or juggalette, and once your juggalo or juggalette child takes a bath and quits wearing embarassing clown makeup, more people might actually want to be around them. This newfound acceptance will help eliminate the sadness and pointless teenage angst that usually surrounds the smelly juggalo/juggalette.

The last thing to do if your child is a juggalo, is educate them on how embarassing being a juggalo actually is. Tell them how uneducated and trashy the juggalo lifestyle comes off, and explain to them that a group of rapping clowns is just silly. If you sit down and be real with your children about how awful societies perception of the Insane Clown Posse is, they might see the foolishness in their lifestyle.

Juggalo 2

Hopefully you now understand what to do if your child is a juggalo. I hope this article also explained in detail the different warning signs that your child might be a juggalo. This article was not written to offend anyone, but help open the eyes of some parents that may have juggalo children. I've encountered many juggalos who do not have a shed of respect for anyone, and I can sympathize with any parent who may be cautious that they have juggalo/juggalette children. I hope I've helped you figure out what to do if your child is a juggalo.


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Comments

Jun 9, 2011 1:40am
JuggaloLove
first of all get your facts strait we do to take baths yes we love faygo but it doesnt mean thats the only thing we drink we drink water and milk and many other substances not all juggalos and juggalets aare bad nor do they all pait their faces ICP rules being a juggalo is not bad it is what we choose and the fact that people kill doesnt mean that we are all like that dont judge a book by the cover eah thats right dont care 8th grade get out of our bussiness stop trashing our family and stay the heck out of our family if you dont have the facts straight no one cares what yo think about us
Sep 21, 2011 3:44pm
HaHaHaHa
Your child may also be a juggalo if they have an irrational fear of punctuation and/or proper spelling.
Sep 23, 2011 2:17am
tcollins7200
Sorry for not editing, wrote this in 20 minutes in hopes to get paid, and this specific article has made me quite a lot. Sorry if your defense is spawned from liking such a terrible band. If you're an Insane Clown Posse fan, I'm sorry that you fell into a trap designed for the weak minded.
Sep 23, 2011 8:27am
HaHaHaHa
I thought the article was great - my comment was directed at the poorly worded reply. Although said reply does make a great footnote to the article and further proves your point. But be careful! Apparently if you talk about them, they're going to talk about you.
Jun 9, 2011 1:40am
JuggaloLove
first of all get your facts strait we do to take baths yes we love faygo but it doesnt mean thats the only thing we drink we drink water and milk and many other substances not all juggalos and juggalets aare bad nor do they all pait their faces ICP rules being a juggalo is not bad it is what we choose and the fact that people kill doesnt mean that we are all like that dont judge a book by the cover eah thats right dont care 8th grade get out of our bussiness stop trashing our family and stay the heck out of our family if you dont have the facts straight no one cares what yo think about us
Jun 9, 2011 1:44am
JuggaloLove
And second of all if you keep talking about us were gonna talk about you too so we dotn mess with so lee us alone were not like you just cause were diffrent doesnt mean we need to be treated diffrently heck half the crude tht happens is most likely you guys pshin people to their limits
Oct 13, 2011 2:49pm
ltrujillo19
I have to disagree with hating on ANY group of people, for any reason, but just because of a certain band they like? I, myself, am not a Juggalo, but my son is. He is popular, showers everyday, doesn't wear paint and dirty clothes, has a ton of girls that like him and guy friends as well. They are not violent, filthy, smelly, disgusting kids. They are kids and they like a band, and every single "juggalo" friend he has, are really great kids that I more than welcome to come around. If you can hate on someone for that, there is something really wrong with YOUR life.
Oct 22, 2011 11:57pm
Mr_Juggalo_to-you
Pardon me, but I am a Juggalo and I can tell you that this information is quite prejudiced and innaccurate. First I think it should be duly noted that if your child does not bathe, it has nothing to do with their taste in music. It often has more to do with the fact that you are a horrible parent. Second, your child was probably fat before they ever even heard of ICP. They were likely tormented, depricated, and chastised for their weight and appearance which gave them appreciation for the themes of the music produced by Psychopathic Records. Third, the comments made in relation to the intellect of Juggalos as a group is infantile. Every group is loaded with idiots in this day and age, and I personally take offense to the statement that we are uneducated. In closing, i'll say this... And i think it accurately delivers my sentiment of distaste for this article... "If you don't like us, you can fuck on"
Apr 30, 2012 9:28pm
nickkieta
I am a Juggalo, and I take a big offense to this article. You say that we are hateful people, that we hurt the elderly and that we hurt NON-Juggalos. But, what your doing here, just by stating what you "believe" is true, is straight up worse than what you say we do. There has only been RECORED 10 MAJOR acts of violence/murder by Juggalos. And even with the FBI stating us a gang, when it was asked by media as to WHY...the FBI stated that because of MINIMAL activity Juggalos were daubed a gang. I am a Juggalo. I don't smoke weed, I don't drink all the time. Hell I got drunk back when I turned 21, when my brother in law turned 21 and just a month ago. That's 3 times in the span of 3 years! I am not uneducated, I graduated high school and I'm in college. But I'm uneducated right? Aren't you uneducated just for accusing us of something? Do you know how many friends I have that aren't Juggalos? Too many to count! I agree with Mr_Juggalo_to-you...Just because your "child" listens to the music or wears the clothing, or is FAT doesn't mean it's ICP's fault or other Juggalos. I have friends who aren't even Juggalos and the LOVE Faygo! What do you have to say about that? I've NEVER met any juggalos who have EVER hurt Elderly people! I have "Juggalo friends" who work in homeless shelters and help people in need. They never ask for anything, want anything, and do everything ON THEIR OWN. Stereotyping us as "bad people" is contradicting yourself just for your own statements. As the saying goes "walk a mile in my shoes and then tell me what you think" other than that, just by being around our lifestyles or hearing what you think is true, doesn't make it right. Juggalos all around are still people. We don't all LIKE the same things. We don't all WANT the same things. We don't ALL go to the Gathering, or smoke, or drink, or beat people up or do any of that crap. Take a look in the mirror! The only people who I see are bad is you guys.
Apr 30, 2012 9:41pm
nickkieta
Oh and here's an added note, Hitler did the same thing you and the rest of society is doing towards us, just keep in mind what happened to him. :)
Sep 28, 2013 9:45am
Baby_gurl69
I know this might be late but last time i checked a juggalo saved a little girls life. Yes i know him. I know a lot of juggalo's and juggalettes. And i am a juggalette. We dont only drink faygo or act the same. Everyone has their own minds. Not everyone thinks the same. So if you want to make a "Article" about juggalo's and lettes. Get your facts streight, Because you are highly wrong.
Sep 28, 2013 9:47am
Baby_gurl69
Alot of people are just expressing their selfs. some in a good way and some in a way people would call "wrong" but just because some people go and kill people doesnt mean that we All do.
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