Are You Overwhemed Because of Someone's Drinking?

Many people occasionally have a bit too much to drink, and embarrass themselves or others. It may even have happened to you! However, you may be in a situation where your life is entwined with someone whose excessive drinking is not occasional, and it is beginning to drive you crazy. The drinker may be a husband, wife, child, parent, sibling, business partner, boyfriend, girlfriend or, simply a friend! However you are connected to them, you are beginning to become increasingly concerned about their drinking. Where should you turn and what should you do?

Does someone's drinking upset you?

There is an organization called Alanon that is designed to help anyone who is in your position. You do not have to be related to the drinker in order to go to an Alanon meeting. You do not even have to be convinced that they are an alcoholic. You just need to feel upset because of someone else's drinking.

If you want to learn more about Alanon, you might find it helpful to read some of the Alanon books.  They contain a lot of useful information for people who feel desperate because of someone else's problem drinking.  If you don't know where to find them, they are available through this Amazon link to Alanon books.

Are you uncertain about whether or not Alanon will help you?  Here are some of the clues that will help you decide that you might benefit from attending Alanon meetings:

1. Have you ever let this person drive when you are in their car, and when you know that they have been drinking? Did you feel unsafe? Do you know that drinking and driving is unsafe, but you still sometimes ignore the danger?

2. Have you ever felt that you had to change or cancel your plans because of their drinking? Did you avoid attending a party or social event, because you didn't want them to get drunk? Are you reluctant to make plans with others and leave them at home along?  Are you trying to control someone else's drinking?

3. Is the drinker creating financial problems for you? Have they ever stolen money from you, or spent family money on alcohol when it was needed to pay bills? You know that an alcoholic will find money for alcohol somehow, no matter who is hurt by the decisions they make.  The power of their addiction is so strong that they will ignore other expenses and obligations that could prevent them from obtaining their alcohol.

4. Have you lied or covered up for the alcoholic? Do you find yourself telling other friends or family members that the drinker is sick when you know that they are actually hung over? Have you made excuses for them, rather than admitting that they are passed out? Have you called their employer or school to report that they are sick when you know that they are hungover?  Do you pretend that they do not have an alcohol problem?

5. Does the behavior of the alcoholic embarrass you? Are you worried about them? Do you worry about what they are doing when they are out of your sight?  Are you concerned about the decisions they are making?  Are you worried that they are ruining their health, their careers, their lives?  Do you feel a lot of anxiety about the well-being of the alcoholic ... and this could be affecting your own health?

If you answered Yes to ANY of these questions, you would probably benefit from attending Alanon. There you will find a loving, supportive, helpful group of people who have experienced many of the same problems and emotions that you have. You will find, in Alanon, a place where you can share your worst fears and worries without embarrassment, because the other people at the meeting have also experienced life with an alcoholic!

If you are looking for an Alanon meeting near you, it is listed in most phone books and on the internet as Al-Anon Family Groups. In most areas there is an intergroup office that will provide you with additional information. Good luck in learning how to work your way towards a happier life, and a brighter future!

Meanwhile, here is some additional information that you may want to read:

Loving the Addicted Teen

Living the Alanon Do's and Don'ts

Why Worry About Drug and Alcohol Abuse Among Teens

Using the Alanon Slogans in your Daily Life

Taking the First Step in Alanon

Top Five Alcohol Addiction Treatment Facilities in California

photo courtesy of

The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage

The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
Amazon Price: $10.70 Buy Now
(price as of May 31, 2015)
When I first joined Alanon, this is the one book that helped me understand what was happening in my marriage. Although it was written a few decades ago, it may be the most useful book you can read at the beginning.