Why am I not married yet?
"When are you getting married?" asked a friend. "I don't a plans yet.", I replied. "Why? What are you waiting for?" he added. "Hmmm another one. Another long conversation and explanation. Evasive manuver coming up!", I thought to myself.
I don't know why but I get the feeling that people who asks me this questions expected me to answer a definite date and if they don't get what they want to hear from me they go on and ask me a deluge of questions as to why I don't want to be married yet. Some people doubt my fidelity (I hope not my sexuality). Others go to some degree of persuition to convince me to give them a date. Others tells me of their boring married life to supposedly 'encourage me' to tie the knot. "Wow pretty exciting huh." is my usual sarcastic response to their stories. Honestly, I'm tired of listening to those questions. I am very uncomfortable talking about me getting married. Somehow I feel that they expect me to get married soon and some of them wants to decide for me. What's with getting married anyway? Why do I need to get married ASAP? Is it because I am already 26 and most people I know are ready to get married at that age?
I believe GETTING married is EASY but BEING married, now, that's the challenge. For a minimum of P500 (for papers and other needed fees) I can get married. All I need to do is to ask for my pastor to marry me and my girlfriend and gather my family and whalla! I can now start the 30-minute ceremony to commence my married life. But after the ceremony is over that's when the BEING begins.If during the GETTING married part I just spent P500 in the BEING married part I will be spending all I got. I'll be spending for the honeymoon somewhere CHEAP. And when I come back I will have to leave my comfortable life with my family and cleave with my wife and build my own family. I will spend for building my own house which will cost me at least P1M if I live in the city. Of course I can live CHEAP and live on a very humble abode which will cost me around P8K for the next 25 years. I'm talking about having a house loan. The responsibility does not end there I have to make sure that our needs as a family will be meet. And since I still have financial responsibility to my former family I will have to either stop supporting my relatives or work two jobs to support those needs. And when we will have a baby, that's when my psychological and physiological capacity will be challenged.
I am not saying this because I don't want to be married. I see myself BEING married one day but I also understand the cost of it and the maturity that it will envoke from me. I understand that I have to be at least prepared to the basic financial, physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychiological demands that comes with it. And honestly I am not prepare for it yet. Maybe because inside this 26 year-old-body is a boy. Yes I still hope and dream like a boy. I still want to smell the flowers and at the same time make sure that by the time I get to where I need to go that I will "not spill the oil from my teaspoon". I still feel that my time to tie the knot has not yet come. But when it does I want to be sure I am prepared.