It is not a comfortable position to be in when the fire between you has been so strong and nothing was too much for either one of you to do for the other. You are good together, have a deep friendship, understand one another’s quirks, eccentricities and needs and still have the same tender regard as before. If your marriage can be summed up in two words it would be celibate wife. What do you do? He’s a great guy and you know it. You also know that the celibate wife accurately describes you. You have been happy but you are no longer happy just with him. You want him as a friend, as a father to his children, as someone you can always call on for advice, but no longer in an intimate way.
Do you want to stay married and sleep in a separate bed or separate room, he asks, or do you want to leave? You want to leave, you say, but suddenly fear that when he does leave you might regret it. Who will be there in the middle of the night to check the windows and the doors? Who will help with the kids who are just in their teens? What will it do to them and how will you feel? And which one of the children is going to come with you and which one with their father? And will there be consequences separating the kids? Darn right there’ll be consequences.
Life is so short that when compared to eternity it is a blink of the eye. The world will not stop because you have died. You are here for a short time. But you also have some responsibility for being here. You have to teach your children. You have to show them love. You have to teach them the virtues of life and how they can pass on to others what they know. When you look at the damage caused to children by parents who have them and then neglect them, you see what state we are in as human beings.
Life is about sharing, loving, educating, preparing your children as good human beings so they can pass it on to others. Is your wish to leave your family so strong that it supersedes the needs of the children? Can you look them in the eye and take off? If yes, then move on and place the children in the care of the parent who would not separate them for anything. Children are hurt every day and unless we stop the vicious cycle of jumping relationships, we are teaching them that it is all right to chop and change partners and hurt not only ourselves but also others. Can you do it? Don’t answer now. Read this once or twice and ask yourself whether your child should grow up without his daddy – for no real reason at all.