In America, football is king, the NFL is the most watched sport in the country bar none. College football the “minor league” of the NFL is the 2nd most sport in the country. The big programs dominate their school in terms of money and influence, coaches are the highest paid teachers on the payrolls and most of the players get school and board for free. .

With popularity comes notoriety as football scandals at big time college football programs have been a  topic of debate recently in the mainstream media. The Penn State child abuse case, Miami boosters, and Mr. Johnny Football himself signing autographs for cash. What this shows me is that college football players get a lot of cool perks, other than a shot at making millions in the NFL what are some other reasons that being a college football player is simply awesome?


Cold Hard Cash

CashWho doesn’t like money, college players certainly do, envelopes of cash from coaches and old white men who love seeing young fit men doing physical acts. So just getting a sack or passing a couple of touchdowns and I'm set for a month? Sign me up, and you can get cash without even being on the team, those old white men love the underage boys too. If you are the local high school hero and even sniff in the direction their school or teams general direction, a new car and a Rolex is showing up at your house the next day. Free college, free food, free clothes, free cars, what's not to love?


Get out of jail free card

Louisiana State University running back Jeremy Hill, was recently suspended for the first game of the 2013-2014 season for assaulting a man in a bar, but was able to play the next week, wait what? You’re telling me that you can: underage drink, get wasted, sucker punch a dude in the back of the head in a parking lot, on camera, and instead of getting charged with a felony and jail time you get suspended for one game and some probation? You’re a modern-day myth now, who knew that running a pigskin could also act as a police detractor.


Hookers…. I Mean Hostesses?

Sports Illustrated is doing an investigation into the Oklahoma State football program under Les Miles, and Mike Gundy. One of the alleged situations to occur under their respective regimes is the use of female escorts from the school that would have sex with potential recruits visiting the campus. Well kill me now and send me to Valhalla, sex being used in exchange for a good or service? For shame, wouldn’t it be grand, given fellatio by some sweet little blonde dime minutes after showing up to campus driven by your mom in her 98’ Windstar? Go Blue, roll tide.


 Total Disregard of the Education System    

If you are going to college to play college football then you are not really going to college, or at least what you imagine college actually is, which is, you know, learning. Classes are generally picked out by the coaches themselves as well as the degrees, look at the degrees most college athletes at a school: Agricultural journalism, consumer affairs, family youth and community sciences.

animal houseWhile I know these degrees look simple and in general worthless, yet secretly these majors are extremely   difficult. So difficult in reality that you have a full-time  tutor spoon-feeding you the answer sheet for the midterm. But don’t worry, you don’t need to show up to class to pass anyway. Your coach understands that you work hard on the football field and going to class would just hinder your performance in the next game. You have a D in sociology, one call to a coach or booster and that D magically finds itself looking closer to a B and somehow I just made honor roll? The magic of learning.