I Am Such an Uncool Mom That I am Cool

One of my favorite television sitcoms was Roseanne. She was not the typical suburban housewife living in a beautiful home with perfectly behaved children. She was a working class mother doing everything she could to parent using the tools she had.

In one episode, after making a parenting decision that did not go very well with one of her daughters, Roseanne told to her sister Jackie that she always dreamed of being a “cool mom” who gave their kids freedom to do what they wanted, but she couldn’t. She was just a mom.

Are You a Cool Mom?Credit: www.pixabay.com

For whatever reason, that stuck with me. I always wanted to be a suburban mini-van driving mom. When I taught full-time, I dreamed of being the room mom who volunteered her time with the school PTA. I wanted to be the Kool-Aid mom, where the kids wanted to play after school and eat my homemade cookies and treats.

I achieved both of those dreams.

But one that I never had was to be a cool mom. Parenting teens is a hard enough these days with the extra burdens of technology-something my parents did not have to deal with. My children do not need a buddy who dresses like them and talks like them-they need an authority figure who loves them, has their back, and will teach them right from wrong.

I know far too many women who are trying to be a friend to their children and not a parent. This is why I am not a cool mom.


Do Cool Moms Drive Mini Vans?Credit: http://mrg.bz/Ari8dP

I am Not a Cool Mom Because I Will Not Permit Co-Ed Sleepovers

About twelve years ago, my sister-in-law told me about a co-ed sleepover her seventeen year old son was attending. To say that I was flabbergasted would be an understatement. Although I kept my opinions to myself, I do not understand why any parent would permit teenagers with raging hormones to sleep together in their home. It is just inviting trouble, if you ask me. And all of this transpired before camera phone could video tape anything and everything they shouldn’t be doing.

Many teens today “hook up’ because they do not know any better-it’s all in good fun. I have friends who permit co-ed sleepovers, and maybe their kids think they are being cool, but this mom does not. That will never happen in my home.

I am so uncool, that when my daughter was invited to spend the weekend with her boyfriend’s parents at their vacation home, I called to see where she would be sleeping to make sure that is was by herself. She was embarrassed, but I did not care.

I Am So Uncool That I am Neither Pierced or Tattooed

As a Baby Boomer, tattoos were never seen on anyone except sailors. No one I knew had one (at least one I could see). In fact, the first person I knew who had a visible tattoo was the spouse of my husband’s cousin-and I was twenty when I met him.

Tattoos are very mainstream now. I do not judge people if they want them-it’s their body to do with what they please. But there are some women I know who are middle aged and getting their first tattoos because they think it will make them look cooler and more hip to the suburban world we live in.

Um, it doesn’t. It looks like you are trying too hard to be cool.

The same goes for piercing body parts other than ears. In my day, we only saw people with different piercing in National Geographic magazine. In order to up their cool factor, I know a few forty-something women who pierced their noses. Hey, their kids were doing it, so why not join in the fun?

I even know a woman who pierced her tongue. It’s hard for me to look at her when she talks-I just don’t get it. I wonder what her teenage daughter thinks about it.

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Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens + Teens
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Hormones and the need for independence are the hallmark of the teen years. How to work through conflicts about grades and more, along with scientific research, are provided in this highly regarded book on parenting teens.

This Uncool Mom Will Not Serve Alcohol to Minors

One of the things parents of teens need to look out for is for other parents who permit alcohol to be served in their home. It is not a problem if the young adults are over the age of 21, but it is breaking the law if they are underage.

No, I am not cool enough to be that mom who lets the kids drink and sleep over my home. I know they exist, I have heard it through the grapevine. You know where my daughter is not sleeping!

Moms Are Important-Values are Not Old School

I Am Not a Cool Mom Because I Call

Oh, the utter embarrassment I caused my older daughter when she first started going to parties. Until she was older, she was not permitted to go to boy/girl parties. Before she went to the home of someone I did not know, I called the parents to make sure they were actually going to be home and if it was only all girls.

I know. Totally uncool.


Mom and DaughterCredit: www.freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici, / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sorry, You Cannot See Inappropriate Movies

There are reasons for the rating it received

One of the things that makes the job of any parent harder is when other parents permit their children to do things that you do not permit. For example, my children have friends who parents permit them to see PG-13 movies when they are well under that age.

Excuse me. There is a reason for the rating.

I tell my kids that they may not see these kinds of movies, period. When they are of age, fine, but until then, I will still check the movie rating website to see why a particular movie is rated PG. Every family has different values, and this one values keeping them innocent until I can no longer.

Support for Uncool Parents

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads: Dealing with the Difficult Parents in Your Child's Life
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(price as of May 20, 2016)
Some people never grow up. They still act like they did in high school, and now you have to deal with them as an adult. Because these people are a part of your children lives in various ways, via coaching, best friend's parent or fellow Room Mom, you will have to navigate relationship with people whose values conflict with yours. This book can help you cope.

Dressing My Age is Really Cool

Have you ever seen a woman who is really trying hard to look cool by the way she dresses? There is a reason why I no longer shop in the Junior department, those clothes are not meant for me.

Dressing our age does not mean that were relegated to Mom jeans and tee shirts. Au contraire! It means dressing in clothes that are stylish and actually fit you. More often than not, really short mini skirts are not attractive on middle aged women, no matter how fit you are. A slightly longer length is more flattering and show that you are comfortable with your stage of life, not that you are trying to relive the glory years of the 80’s.

By all accounts, I am not a cool mom, and I am okay with that.