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Why I wish I did not have neighbors sometimes

By Edited May 11, 2015 1 5

Even the dogs dread neighbors coming round

I wish I did not have neighbours

Yes I know and you read right!! As much as I have one or two nice neighbours. Most neighbours are a pain in the ass and I hate having them. It is a social minefield living in a suburban area. Especially when you have no choice but to socialize with people because of your children. It is not because I am anti social though. And it is not because I have become one of the many who live through the computer. I am 31 years old and even as a teen, my friends knew I was a wanderer, a wild spirit. Having children means I have to give them stability, and I can not bolt and disappear as I once did. Hence being on anti depressant probably, but oh well. Becoming a mother means my wants are not an issue.

Nosy neighbors from hell, or just a village!

I digress again as usual. My point is that I am stuck where I am due to social and economical factors. If I had my choice I would live in a secluded farmhouse, in the middle of nowhere. I also have picked a nice sleepy little village. Almost a postcard village, until you see the dog poo on the pavements and the gossips on the school road corner. The thing about living in a village you were not born in, is you have no true alliances as those born here have. Yet your life is open to the same scrutiny of the village shrews.

These same shrews seem to try and befriend you though, as they see your newness as fresh blood that is on their side. They seem to zone in on the unknowing soul that has entered their little world. They wish to know all about you. Come and gossip about everyone else and attempt to do the same about you, your children, your home, how you clean, how you shop, how your children dress. If you do a good job, they will bitch about you thinking you are better than every one else around there. And if you fall short, then you are an abomination of housewifely and mothering duties. They will cut your reputation in to tatters in hours. Learn now that most decent neighbors arrange a coffee date, because they were brought up with manners. They also usually have their own stuff to do, other than come and use up the life of your sofa.

You can not get rid of these people though. They see you are a stay at home housewife. You are fair game to be bugged beyond belief. And they take no excuses or hints. They just sit there using your gas and electric and invading your privacy. Seriously, I have even found myself hiding in an upstairs cupboard whilst one of these knocked, then rang the house phone, then my mobile, then my house phone again and knocked and shouted through the letter box. What for? for a gossip and a free cup of tea!! I hate it. It feels like a mouse trap living in a suburban area and being a stay at home parent.

What can you do in this situation?

Well, I could move, but I won't. I do have friends here who are trust worthy and do not harangue me if I have not seen them for a few weeks.

So I stay neutral with all. I neither encourage or discourage these cackling crows. Yes, it means I have to sit mind numbingly bored sometimes, listening to their incessant drivel. I try and make the most of them doing this however and usually I get on with my ironing. Yes, that is a way I hint I am too busy. I start ironing, but they keep talking. I have even vacuumed with them there. You would think the fact that I am drowning their incessant whining out would be a hint, but alas it has not been so far.

Never mind though. It reaffirms my desperation to get back to the work force as soon as possible. That can only be a good thing. As some of these folks will never bother, they are too busy with their tittle tattle to actually work. I do feel sorry for their partners.

Some tips on how to deal with these people (neighbors).

When moving into a village, do not try and come across as over friendly, because you are basically telling them that your front door is wide open to them using your coffee and heating, and you will NEVER have your own free will again. This doesn't mean that you can not be polite, but be weary of breaking any boundaries that you want there.

Hide the car down the street and walk the last street home. That limits the amount of people who will bug you, as they will walk past thinking that you are out.

Get caller ID on your phone, these people are a nuisance, I have actually ignored the front door before now, only to have my mobile and then house phone ring, and them shout through the letter box. That was my worst time, I actually hid in the cupboard upstairs he he.

Keep the front door locked and ban your children from opening the front door. Many times I would have gotten away with not answering the door, except the kids already had.

Do not join the PTA, or children's play groups   in your village. If you want to go to play group, go to the next village. Or go to the one in your village and lie through your teeth. You work and are hardly ever home would be the best.

Obviously the above tips are for avoiding being swamped by all the lay abouts that have nothing better to do than bug you, so they do not have any comprehension of the term "working from home". If you actually wish to make um "friends" with these people, ignore all my advise. My advise is for those who wish to be left to work in peace.



Nov 8, 2011 3:23pm
Interesting article Emma; unfortunately, the negative experiences you've had with some of your neighbors are problems many people have to endure. We have a friend whose neighbor has taken him to court several times on trivial matters and if anyone parks in front of this neighbor's home (which is legal) he immediately runs out of his house and throws a tantrum saying they are not allowed to park there. Good luck with your situation.
Nov 8, 2011 4:27pm
Ooh yikes Introspective. My neighbours may bug me slightly, but they have their good points sometimes. When I am not trying to work. Some people just see battles where there are none. Thank you for reading Introspective.
Feb 22, 2012 5:53pm
My neighbor's kid is in a band. Bass, lead guitar and drums til 10 or 11 at night. There is all of 6 feet between most houses here, so I get a free concert in my dinning room every night. LOL. At least these kids are pretty good.
Feb 22, 2012 5:56pm
Yeah there is about same distance between my neighbours. It isn't so much the ones very near me, it is the ones a couple of doors down that want my coffee and to stay warm in my house to save them putting their heating on.
You must think I am sooo antisocial, haha. Not always, just when they get in the way.
Feb 22, 2012 6:02pm
Naw, I know what you mean. Sometimes you have to be anti-socail to stay safe. Well, around here anyway.
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