Bullying is something that has a lot of history attached to it. You may have been badly bullied in school or you may even have been bullied in your adult life. This doesn't stop once you have grown up. Of course, you have more resources and knowledge to know what to do.
Kids who were bullied often live with the trauma for many years to come. What is worse, is that it leads to problems that connect with low self-esteem issues so problems like these need to be dealt with straight away when you sense they are there.
Reasons for Bullying
Some kids just pick on other kids for no reason, but there is a definite pattern as to why some kids are bullied more than others. There are certain characteristics that are displayed in these kids. We also seem to associate bullying as other something physical or more of a verbal thing, but more often it can be something non-verbal and this is what is so damaging.
Bullies will look to other kids who display signs that they are not the most outgoing. They may not have a lot of confidence and this can be seen in their expressions, tone of voice and gestures. Rejection is a big form of bullying and leads to social isolation. It often leads to depression and anxiety. A lot of kids will find this so tough that they will even develop a drug problem.
Bullying is often associated with picking on kids with characteristics which stands out. The child is either too thin or too fat or comes from a different background. Overall, it is the way the child is able to get around the social world in a positive way.
Therefore, the child that doesn't respond with the appropriate facial expressions and is having basic problems with socializing skills then this is where the problem begin. The percent of kids bullied in this way amounts to just over 13% in American schools. Sometimes nobody knows why their grades are slipping or why they are staying in their room everyday after school, with a sense of depression.
How you can help with kids getting bullied
The reason, as stated above why kids are running into this problem is because their social skills are lacking and once this has been built up they will start to see a whole new world out there. A new school is not going to do the trick because kids will be kids and later in life you will have to deal with adult cyber bullying which is another cattle of fish. Some kids have benefited from speech therapy or pathologists.
Don't ignore the situation - it may be too late This is not always necessary because it may not be that severe and just one friend will help with practice. They should get as much exposure to this as possible. Parents should get involved as much as they can. Sending kids to extra activities where there are other kids around like a youth group is not a bad idea. Children want to fit in, as we all do.
All humans want to be liked and bullying hinders this so this is something that parents have to work on. Work with them as you see something that they did which was socially unacceptable. Don't lecture them or tell them off, but go through the incident in stages so that they actually understand about how to act in the proper way around people. You could take this one step further and give them homework to do.
Once you have gone through a particular incident that was unacceptable then ask them to follow through with something similar in the appropriate way. This could relate to sharing or just basically being polite and friendly.
In saying this, making sure your kids are educated so that they are not going to be bullied is all good and well, but that may be like saying we are blaming the victim and we are trying to find the best way for our kids to fit in.
What about the bullies? What do we do about kids who are causing chaos to others lives'. This surely needs to be dealt with. Quite often this happens right at home where there are parents or older siblings, ordering the child around and developing aggression on at an early age. This is a whole new subject completely!
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Why about Cyber Bullying
This has become the worst form of bullying, simply because it is so easy and simple for the bully to get to his or her victim. At first it may just seem like a joke, but then it gets out of hand.
It is important that kids and tweens are taught about email etiquette, and basically what is right and what is wrong when it comes to facebook, twitter as well as many other applications online.
You may have found in your adult life when participating in forums how rude some people can be, and how they continue to come back. This can happen at work, where people may keep on sending you emails, which are in no way of a friendly nature.
Terrible things have happened to kids who were victimized like this. Some of these children even said something to their parents once or twice, but it was brushed aside. Never do this - because not many kids will confront their parents.
How Do You Know Your Child is Being Cyber Bullied
You may not be a mind reader, but there are a few signs to pick up on, and you should be aware of this.
- You may find that your child suddenly stops looking at his or her social media accounts.
- They will become very upset all of a sudden after having a look at facebook, for example.
- They may even close their social media accounts