Why Legal and Illegal Immigrants Are Good for Business

There are so many people who don’t even know the difference between emigration and immigration, however, they will get all worked up when the prefix illegal is used. A lot of people seem to think they know all about immigration and the evils caused by the relentless arrival of people you love to help as long as they remain in their own country.

What is the definition of an illegal immigrant? Well, these are the people who come from hot countries with beautiful beaches but can’t seem to appreciate the beauty of what they’ve left behind. They come to your country and expect you to speak their language. They like to cook with too much flavors and spicy stuff. They don’t have the same sense of style and values and seem to think they are better than you. They love to eat their burritos and tacos whilst drinking tequilas and dancing to salsa. They move so well on the dance floor in such a way that makes you feel inadequate. Their female species are delicious, shapely, tanned, their derriere are large enough to serve your nachos just the way you like it; they don’t play hard to get like those flat bottomed pale looking women you have grown accustomed to all your life. That is one definition of illegal immigrants but there is more…

Others breeds of illegal immigrants are those who like curry and perfumed rice. They speak with a funny accent that makes you laugh but not when you are in their presence. They identify their female ones with a red dot on their forehead. They are very prudish and at the same time invented Kamasutra. That is like being a vegetarian and only eating a BigMac because it’s got lettuce and tomatoes.

There are also those who are descendent of Bruce Lee and put up 7/11 stores at every street corner. There are so many of them that you don’t know what to do with them. They build their restaurants and never employ your children.

What about those who are related to Jesus? Some crazy idiots tried to exterminate them but due to sheer resilience and divine intervention they survived and created a nation from scratch. That is almost a miracle. These Jesus’ brothers can also be illegal immigrants.

Other illegal immigrants are those who seem to be related to MacDonald’s. They are very often religious and love to have huge families. Their religious leaders love nothing better than abuse young boys. They tend to have fondness for potatoes.

The most visible immigrants are those who didn’t want to come to your country in the first place but were forced to. These have been in the country for over hundreds of years and cannot be sent back because of collective guilt. They like to have an “in your face attitude” and listen to loud music called PAR (backward).  This group think that drive-by shootings are computer games and walking around with your trousers below your hips is the epitome of cool. The ones you hate but your children like to imitate because it feels cool to be like them.

This definition is a load of tosh or as some will like to put it, it is a load of pointless drivel. You are right but the best part is still to come

Why Are Illegal Immigrants Good for Business?

The medicated solution will be to ship them all back to wherever they came from. That will never happend because your mentally challenged state of affairs will not be capable of dealing with the aftermath. Think about who will raise your baby, and help him become bilingual. Who will clean your hotel room? Who will mug you when you are at the ATM? Who will make you fear for your life and take care of you when your so called loved ones abandon you at the junk yard of the elderly? Your world will be a different, predictable, boring place without your dear immigrants.

Have you noticed how all the cleaning ladies in most popular hotels look exotic? Even the cleaning lady who apparently got caught with the former head of the IMF, Dominique Strauss-Khan looked very tanned. Are you getting the picture or do you need divine illumination? Why was this good for business? Well, a busy rich and powerful guy who thinks with his little member needs some form of relief before making important decisions that will impact the lives of millions. The tabloids enjoyed every bit of the salacious scandal and they sold a lot of newspapers. Television networks also had a whale of a time streaming the drama. Conspiracy theories flourished as everyone tried to decipher the real villains and the true victims. Good for business indeed!

If you have ever gone to any construction site, it will easily become apparent that you are either in another country or you have been spending too much time romance a bottle of your favorite poison. These people that you love to hate but can’t live without are the ones building the roads, the bridges, the tower blocks and getting ripped off by big corporate fat cats. You can’t blame the employers because it is a question of demand and supply. These are also the ones who will jump at every opportunity they get to do jobs your lazy fat behind can’t be bothered to apply for. How come illegal immigrants can hold down multiple jobs and you can’t find one? Do you need a PhD to figure that out?

Restaurants and kitchen workers are all contributing to the economy directly or indirectly. You might hate them because they take away your jobs and sleep with your daughters but you can’t live without them. By the way, you better be nice to your exotic looking waiter the next time you visit if you don’t want rich saliva mixed with your quesadilla.

Who gives the best massage in most western world? Illegal immigrants of course! The great thing is that you get if for half the price with a sexy accent to go with it. You get to hear thank you, gracias, *&%x@ and other wonderful but unintelligible mumblings.

Politicians love immigrants legal or illegal because of a simple fact. They are good bargaining chips. You don’t have to give them an intellectual lecture for them to vote for you. Just talk about relaxing immigration rule and allowing family reunion even for those who don’t have a family. Immigrants are versatile and understand the dynamics of politics. This is also good for big businesses that take advantage of low wages and no insurance. If one were to die, you don’t even have to fill out a form. There will be more to take his place.

Immigrants tend to be quite good in bed when you think about the amount of children they have. That means mid-wives and doctors will continue to have jobs. Teachers will learn a foreign language and get exotic gifts like tortilla, chorizo, etc. It also means social workers will be kept busy dealing with domestic violence and dysfunctional families. It means lawyers are kept busy because you can be easily accused of racism and you will need to defend your reprehensible comment. By the way, what better way to insult an immigrant than “dissing”(don’t looking this up in your Oxford dictionary) his background and cursing his cultural heritage!

Crime, legal and illegal immigration are joined at the waist. This is good for business because these retarded morons fight over neighborhoods they don’t own and they keep the police force busy. Thank goodness because you sometimes wonder what the police are up to when you really need them. At least now you know they are business helping those who really need their help. Just pray they don’t come and help you just like they to Rodney King.

This makes for a depressing read and it was just as depressing to write!