Lipstick on collar
Credit: google images

                Many women have asked this age old question as to why men cheat.  There are numerous reason that men would say they cheat.  Most of their answers  won’t make their women happy.  In relationships both parties are responsible for the state of the marriage or partnership.  We are all given clues either before we enter into relationships are shortly their after to the propensities of our potential mates.  If the cheating happens after marriage there are usually clues leading up to the infidelities.  Sometimes the biggest mistake that women make is not paying attention to the clues or become delusional to the strength of their relationships.

            Some men have a problem with monogamy and they usually show signs of these problems early into the relationship.  Unfortunately for many women they believe they have the ability to change the behavior.  This is a huge mistake, as we already know from our own behavior; people only change when they have made a conscious decision to do so or due to some significant emotional event.  There are many reasons that men cheat and a few will be discussed here.

  1.  Tolerated Behavior.  This may seem like a strange reason for me to list, but regrettably it’s true.  Many women are very tolerant of a man’s infidelity.  For the man there is no real consequence for his behavior.  As long as he takes care of home and his family is not affected, some men believe that cheating is totally acceptable.  Surprisingly, many women allow for this behavior for the same reason.
  2. No Sex At Home.  People may say that sex isn’t everything but ask the man that’s not having any sex and the response you get will probably be “Are you kidding?”  When couples are having problems in the relationship, denial of sex is often times the result.  While this may be effective short term, as the denial continues, frustration sets in.  There are many other women more than willing to fill the void for a man in need of sex.  Sex is important.  No woman should forget that!
  3. Validation.  Each person in a relationship needs to feel  that their contributions to the  family are important.  When a man feels that he is not being supported at home or his wife does not have faith in his abilities to take care of his family, affairs can be the outcome.  Couples should remind each other consistently of the vital role that they play in the relationship and how fortunate they feel to have one another.  Affirmation and support go a long way to keep a relationship strong.
  4. Aging.  Many men as they reach 40 or older start to feel as if they are losing their appeal to the opposite sex.  This can sometimes result in affairs, because having a woman outside of his spouse being attracted to him provides him with an infusion of renewed self-esteem and confidence. 
  5. New Experience.  As marriages grow over the years, they can begin to feel like a comfortable old pair of slippers.  As the family grows and the wife is now taking care of children, taking care of the house and working her appeal to the man can diminish.  If the couple does not take steps to continually reinvent the marriage and allow for complacency to set in, infidelity can rear its ugly head.

            These are just a few of the reasons that men cheat.  There are many others that depend on the man such as sex addiction, drugs and alcohol abuse, and peer pressure.  Whatever the reason that men cheat it should be unacceptable in the relationship.  We all train people how to treat us.  If we allow ourselves to be treated badly we will be.