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Why Shopping for Groceries is Ridiculous

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 1 0

Disclaimer

Before I start this article, let me just say that I am thankful to God to be able to shop for groceries, put food on the table, and eat well.  I am well aware that not everyone in the world enjoys being able to do this.

Planning Your Shopping Trip

When do you go shop for groceries?  Perhaps you live in a remote area and have to make a big haul at the store when you get your groceries, so maybe you go once every few weeks.  Or maybe you live in a large city, and have to go up a flight of stairs, or use an elevator to get to your flat, so you eat out on the town on a daily basis.  Perhaps hauling groceries back to your place takes a fair amount of effort (because of the steps or the elevator, and you can only carry so much at once), and it is possible the groceries would not last very long (because your hungry and you'll eat them).  Just making some guesses here.

If you are the typical home-owning city dweller, than you probably go fetch your groceries once or twice a week.  (We are getting closer to the ridiculous part, don't worry).  Before you set out to your favorite store to obtain your (mostly) perishable goods, you probably make a list of what you need.  And even though you have been doing this for years on a regular basis, you still just grab whatever piece of scrap paper is handy, and start writing your list.  Or maybe you use an app on your smartphone.  Either way, your list starts.

You go to the fridge, and note what things you are out of.  You add those things to the list.  Then you check the other places you stash your food, and see what else is missing.  You add those things to your list.  Finally, you check the recipes that you have selected (maybe) to make over the next week or two (if you get around to it), and you add the ingredients for those things to your list.  By now your list should look pretty much complete.

Oh shoot! That doesn't include the non-food items your out of.  Better run around the home and get those things on the list too.

Now your list is complete, and it's already a bit larger than you were hoping to have to go shopping for, but, what the heck.  You figure you pretty much need the stuff, so you set out on your way to the grocery store.

The Redundancy Begins

You have now arrived at the grocery store, and grabbed a shopping cart.

This, ladies & gentlemen, is where things begin to get ridiculous.

You have been to the store often, so you know its layout fairly well, and have a preferred route you take through it.  First you pick up your non-foods.  Then you head over to the food section and start getting your groceries.

You check your list, find the product, and look at the available choices for the item in order to get the best deal, and then you repeat for each item on your list.

Then you take your cart up to the cashier, and check-out.  You load up the table, and wait for your order to be scanned.  You pay, take your purchases with you, and head for home.

When you get home, you put away all your purchases, and then take a break; because it's been like 2 hours or more that you've been dealing with getting groceries.  Then it hits you like a sack of rocks in the face:  "This was so ridiculous.  I just handled those groceries, uh, like how many times?"

-How many times indeed.  Let's count:

  1. Off the shelf.
  2. Into the cart.  Placement is everything.
  3. Out of the cart, onto the check-out table.
  4. Off the check-out table, back into the cart.
  5. Out of the cart, into the vehicle.
  6. Out of the vehicle, into the home.  Probably on the floor temporarily.
  7. Off the floor, onto the countertop.
  8. Off the countertop, into the refrigerator.

    Whew!  Talk about handling your goods!  Oh wait, we still haven't made a meal with the stuff yet!

  9. Out of the fridge, back onto the counter.  
  10. Back into the fridge.

Grocery Shopping - Jackie Chan - Rage Face

Now maybe I'm being a little strange about all this, but you have to agree, that's a whole lot of times handling your groceries.  Maybe farming is easier:  Let's see: 1. plant the seed, 2. water it, 3. wait for it to grow, 4. keep bugs off of it, 5. harvest it, 6. clean it... 

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