Top Ten Reasons Single Guys Should Go For Single Moms
For the single guys out there, here is some practical advice to those of you who are seeking companionship, romance, a good time… and maybe more. No matter the manner you employ to find your prospective dating partners; online, through social clubs, at bars, or old school at the grocery store, I have 10 reasons why single moms should be at the top of your list.
Dating is one of life’s rituals where high-highs and low -lows are the rule not the exception. This exhilarating yet totally bi-polar process gets even trickier later in life after the frivolity of the 20’s and early 30’s and when the weight of responsibility creeps on like the waist size. Peoples past experiences and expectations drag the lows down lower and place a more manic and incredulous quality to the highs.
Single moms are not immune to the conditions of life that affect people and their dating relationships, however in my well-researched opinion, there are many reasons why they are better prepared to whether the storms of dating life than others. Just to name a few, the single mom generally stands on a sturdy foundation of reality (think Groundhog day), has the ability to laugh at herself (think wardrobe malfunctions), and add to that the bonus…constant chasing of the children has kept the inches off of her waist instead of the alternative.
That being said: Is she toting a child but not wearing a ring? Go for it! Give the hot mom with the toddler a wink at the grocery store. Ask your friends to set you up with the divorced neighbor. And for the love of God check the appropriate boxes on your online dating search.
In no particular order, here are the top 10 reasons why single men should go for single moms.
1. You are being compared to a jerk
Ok, maybe not every divorced person out there considers their ex an jerk. The marriage or relationship didn’t work for one reason or another, however, and it’s safe to say that (a) there were probably lots of reasons and (b) that the process was likely not pretty. Maybe he cheated, drank too much, forgot to tell her about his secret apartment and his girlfriend, or they just grew apart. The list goes on and on. No matter the exact transgression from her perspective (or that of the Police Department, the court, or morality at large), you are pretty damn close to prince charming if you tell her she looks pretty and ask her out for a coffee (your treat, please)…regardless of your appearance or income.
2. She does not have time to smother you
Who wants to have the magic of the first season of a dating relationship come to a premature and stormy end because there was simply too much time together too soon? Most of us can look back to those exciting first weeks of a new dating relationship, looking forward to each encounter… until each encounter just ended up running together until there were no more separate encounters to look forward to.
Not so with the single mom. Even if she’s really into you she simply has too much to do. Disregard the concerns about losing your guy’s night, giving up your golf game, or of not having that time to yourself with the remote. She has a built in smother-protection clause in the form of lots of priorities higher than you.
3. Her biological clock is not ticking
Think back to every third date you have had with a single woman in her late 20’s or early 30’s. Did the topic of kids come up? I thought so. And when it did, she silently yet immediately applied the marriage/kids/family algorithm to your partnership, a complex and rigid calculation that works backwards from her perceived oldest possible age of childbirth and sets you sail on an invisible yet very well mapped journey towards conception.
Fast forward to a third date with a single mom. All she is thinking about is not having more kids. In fact, she might be brainstorming how to talk the sitter into staying just a little later tonight or considering some summer camps that are both enriching and more than one week in duration. She is seeking any way to get back, just for a moment, to a carefree spot in her life that didn’t involve the responsibility of children. While you may be exposed to the occasional story about the SUPER funny potty mishap from earlier in the day (cut her some slack and laugh) you are free of the biological noose that probably choked out some past dating relationships.
4. She WILL want to have a good time, dammit
She thinks her commute to work is fun. Getting up before the kids (even if it means 4 am) to have coffee alone is fun. A night out at Rubio’s when no one throws the salsa is FUN. Anything that does not involve chronically wiping noses, butts and countertops is fun. Your average single mom (not that any are average) will think that any night that exceeds the above measures of amusement is an over the top brilliant experience.
Along the same lines, the single mom wants an excuse to look hot, or at least to try. Any excuse. Her daily wardrobe has functional demands (think shammy meets forklift) that do not involve highlighting her figure and lengthening her legs. Give the woman an excuse to wear that cute top gathering dust in her closet and curl her hair and you’ve likely made her week.
5. The only game playing she wants in her life involves people under 12
If it’s not Taboo or Battle of the Sexes at a dinner party, she does not want to play games with you. She does not have the time or the emotional energy for the posturing or the strategic tug of war that often takes place in the first stages of many dating relationships. On the contrary she will likely be overly direct with you and tell you exactly what she wants and how she is feeling. If she does or doesn’t like you, you won’t be stuck guessing. Sound refreshing? I thought so.
6. She’ll get ready in a jiffy
Any parent, male or female, can recall those first years of their child’s life when sleep deprivation and no alone time for showering were the rule not the exception. The grooming process of a single mom, while never diminished in its outcomes, is streamlined to the last second when simultaneously preparing oneself for work, ones children for their day (multiple wardrobe changes for each), and one’s home for departure. She can apply military-like precision to the ubiquitous chaos. In summary, you won’t be stuck waiting around for her to get ready, and with more than 5 minutes to herself she’ll likely be able to wow you with the results.
7. She can laugh at herself
Being pooped on by your kids (and maybe by an ex) gives a person perspective. There’s no way to take yourself too seriously if you’ve ever worn human feces while topless, which every new mother inevitably has. Seriously. Kids remind you, day in and day out that you are just not that cool. If she has survived motherhood along side a breakup, she has clearly made the choice to embrace the chaos of life and laugh at it’s unexpected twists instead of opting for anger and gloom. You can project that her approach to the majority of life’s up’s and down’s will have a foundation of reality, she is well aware that it really always COULD be worse.
8. Divorce proves there was at one time a successful relationship.
Does divorce mean failure? Absolutely not! Divorce indicates there was a successful relationship, where the complexities and compromises of a marriage were navigated and new life was the result. Circumstances of life evolve along with the key players, and once viable relationships can become not so.
The single mom has an entire set of emotional and practical tools based on experience. This is not “baggage” as some would erroneously refer to it as, it’s better described as “relationship carry-on”.
9. Pregnancy is over
This is self-explanatory. While we can all agree that pregnancy and childbirth are some of life’s miracles, a truly magical time and experience, we must admit to ourselves that it also (for most) has its challenges. Parts of the process just suck. Women get tired, gain weight, and things hurt…everything hurts. Hormones are all over the place and very strange things happen to moods, stomachs, and the color of ones skin. No alcohol. I’ll say it again. No alcohol. While this time of life is ripe with anticipation and excitement, you’d be hard pressed to list many people who want to go back to being pregnant or to having a newborn.
Pregnancy is challenging, challenge builds character, and character allows people approach life in functional and productive way. With the single mom, that rocky mountain of pregnancy has been conquered, maybe a few times, and the reward of the experience and child is there without the pending grind of pregnancy and delivery.
10. Size doesn’t matter
This requires explanation. While the single mom is still a woman just like any other, she also finds that a man’s true character is his hottest feature. She’s much more excited by someone following through on their word than by the quality of a restaurant he takes her to or the type of car they drive. Although she is attracted to men the way all other women are, it’s the size of his heart that she’s really excited to reveal. With the understanding that the man she ultimately chooses, if any, will play a role in the happiness and well-being of the lives of those most precious to her (yes her children) she’s checking out the quality of a mans integrity more than the quality of his torso.
The single mom want’s you to be you, straight up and transparent. Show her who you actually are through and through, you’ll save yourself the stress and expense of posturing and pretending.
In summary, if you’re a single guy out there in the dating world take a gamble and go for the single mom. Maybe the odds will be stacked in your favor, and either way you’ll give and get the opportunity for companionship, romance, a good time…and maybe more.