People who live on the West Coast of the United States often struggle to understand why people would want to live “Back East”. Westerners love certain areas of the East such as Northern Maine and Southern Florida, but that is about it. Other than that there are many things that confuse people from the Western United States about People who living in the East. Here are some of those things.
First off what is with the attitude of these people? Ok, maybe they are not rude and they just sound that they way. We have a better chance of understanding a drunk Barbara Streisand speaking upside down after inhaling helium. The “New Joisey” accent is like a foreign language to us on the West Coast of the United States. Is there a reason that you people in New Jersey cannot speak normally? That dhow “the Jersey Shore” is also not helping your reputation out West. We did like the Sopranos though we would not want to live next to them. Of course we love our guns out West.
Yeah we finally learned out West that Upstate New York is pretty and filled with rural land. It took the movie Secretariat for us to learn this but at least we did learn it. Normally when we think of New York we do not think of the pretty upstate part of New York. Nope, the only part of New York we think about is New York City. The younger crowd would love to visit New York but many older people have no interest in ever visiting there.
This is a shame because I know they would probably like it. We do have the stereotype that everybody in New York City is a Jerk, a thief or uptight. Yeah this is wrong to stereotype people like that but every time we meet someone who was born and raised in New York and then move out west they are either a Jerk, a thief, or super-uptight.
The uptight New Yorkers are funny because they get scared when they come out West. As soon as it starts to get dark and they are out in the Country they begin to get nervous or even scared. Of course we find it funny but if we ever visit the “Big City” of New York we would begin to get scared and nervous when it started to turn dark. What scares us about New York is the same thing that scares you New Yorkers about the rural Countryside. I guess we do have something in common.
The Southern States
The States where there are still people yelling that “The South Will Rise Again” is kind of funny and yet also annoying to us so-called Western Yankees. Go ahead and call us Yankees but the States we live in were not even States when the Civil War took place. The South did Rise again because we as a United Country helped to rebuild the South. We Westerners will never understand fully how you can take so much pride in what we perceive as a treasonous act.
Overall we Westerners tend to like Georgia. We hate the Atlanta area but love the rest of the Country. You people in Georgia hunt deer and ducks and go fishing like we do out West and we find that pretty cool. What we HATE about Georgia, other than Atlanta, is the college football coverage. For some reason the Media seems to think that Georgia college football is one of the few teams that should always be covered, even if they are having a bad season. You guys have had a bad season before haven’t you? I mean, sometime you had to have had a losing season. I don’t remember it and I watch it pretty closely but it had to occur sometime.
I am sure that during the Civil War the Union marched down to fight back against the Confederacy and then ran into humidity. I bet once those Northern Soldiers hit the high humidity down in the South they were trying to convince their superiors to go ahead and let the Confederacy leave the Union. Who would want to live in high humidity? We love out dry heat out West. We will take 120 degrees of dry Las Vegas Desert heat over 85 Degrees and super-high humidity.
In Virginia when there are 2 flakes of snow people rush to get groceries and bottled water from the grocery store and schools let out early. You say it is because you have very little snow removal equipment. It does not snow very often so you do not need very much snow removal equipment but when it does snow you guys get screwed. Out west we leave out Igloos and 10 degrees and March to work in our Snowshoes. Yep, that’s how we roll in the Mountainous Western States.
Our waves are bigger than yours! ‘Nuff said about that and we don’t care that your ocean water is warmer than our ocean water. It’s probably just warmer because all the people from West Virginia pee in the Ocean when they visit it.
We in the Western States are always talking trash to the Eastern States and you guys out East talk trash back. I actually love our relationship but notice how we rarely talk about the Midwestern States? Yeah neither side of our Country wants to risk their neck on Tornado land. Remember what happened during the Dust Bowl? Even Mother Nature is not a fan of the Midwest.
If you were offended by any of this then go ahead and relax. It was all meant as a joke. If you are still offended by all of this then I recommend you go ahead and leave a comment below and let me know how angry you are. Make sure you grit your teeth when you are leaving the comment so I can truly get a sense of how angry you may be.