Have you had your "Beatles moment" yet? Did it include a viewing of Sgt Pepper's? Yes, that was viewing. Unbeknownst to the greater population of the world, there is a rock musical extravaganza that was made out of the Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Abbey Road albums. Chuckle for a moment, if you must. It is pretty funny. But wait, it gets better still... Its Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees playing Sgt Pepper's band and its a classic good versus evil fight against Alice Cooper, no wait, Aerosmith. If you haven't yet seen it, here are a couple very serious reasons why you should.
Wait. Did You Say the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton vs Alice Cooper?
Yes, you did read that right. In this movie, the world is only safe while Sgt Pepper's instruments stay in Heartland. But then Mean Mr Mustard steals the instruments and distributes them to the baddies of the world, one of which is Alice Cooper. His life mission is to brain wash the kids who made fun of him in school to raise an army for the FVB.
Ah yes, this stands for Future Villan Band. The FVB is played by, wait for it... yes, that's right Aerosmith. If you didn't listen to music until the 1990s and you just read this, you may need a fe minutes. The rest of the world however will laugh hysterically at Aerosmith being the FVB. The main problem with this is really only that they haven't aged since 1978 when this movie was released. Wasn't sex, drugs and rock and roll supposed to kill you? It wasn't meant to produce children like Liz Tyler. But I digress...
Please Don't Kill Me But...
Actually, while we are on that note. Here is the thing... you know what you are going to get if you ask Peter Frampton to sing the Beatles; same with the Bee Gees. What happens when you get Aerosmith to sing "Come Together"? I love the Beatles, but I am going to say that Aerosmith cracks this one. I don't want to say it is better, but...
Heartland's Darkest Day
This is fantastic. If you have ever watched a stage production of West Side Story, then you don't have any weapons to fight with. This is what happens when the instruments are stolen from Heartland and given to Alice Cooper, Aerosmith and Steve Martin - who by the way is also a baddie. Its gambling, drugs and prostitution. No wait, don't become too alarmed. Good triumphs over evil in the end.
So the Symbolism is Pretty Raw, But...
Really, the theatrics through out this movie are very obvious, which actually only adds to the enjoyment of it all. This may also be the place to tell you that Mean Mr Mustard's companions are wig-wearing black robots who operate his computer for him. No, there is no good place to mention that.
If You Can Answer Yes to This Question...
Have you ever wanted to see Peter Frampton in embroidered white overalls? Dead sober? Okay, for the minority that answered no, feel free to disregard the rest of this article, because unfortunately that is how we meet him at the beginning of this movie. He also wears a pink marching band jacket later in the movie, but this is balanced by the Bee Gees on either side, so I am not sure it counts, but feel free to let me know if it does.
Best 1 Hour and 52 Minute Music Video
So when you sit down to watch this, you aren't supposed to watch this as a musical, you are supposed to watch it as a music video where Peter Frampton is singing Beatles songs. This is going to be difficult if you do it on your own. Here is a checklist of things to have on hand: plenty of alcohol, a friend or two, a couch for your friend or two to sleep off the alcohol on, probably something to snack on and possibly more liquor.
With the Trash on TV Today, Are You Really Disputing This?
So this is a bit silly. No one is going to say it isn't, but have you ever sat through a reality tv show? You may have a harder time understanding that than you will explaining how Steve Martin got the part of Maxwell. You know, the one with the silver hammer. By the way, he is a quack plastic surgeon in this movie. Sound like any reality show you have ever watched?
Really, What Story Were You Going To Write?
If it isn't making any sense (and no one said it had to), take just a few moments to think back on the Abbey Road and Sgt Pepper's albums. If you don't have them on hand, you may want to search for a few lyrics. The truth is that there is barely a story line there and the one that is could be a bit fuzzy. If you can write a better rock musical extravaganza, send it to me and I will be happy to watch and punt it to everyone I know as well.
Ever Find Yourself Cooking with a Glass of Wine?
So there you are in the kitchen, thinking about good versus evil with a glass of wine, as you do, and you have that weird feeling that there may just be something more to life. Don't panic. It is entirely possible that you are supposed to watch Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band while drinking wine and making a stew. You may not even notice the love you put into you put into the food or if your kids don't eat it. That is a very normal side effect. And nothing to get hung about.
Oh, did I mention that Earth, Wind and Fire does a benefit concert for Heartland in their darkest day or that Mean Mr Mustard is in love with Strawberry Fields. How often do you get to use either one of those as a cultural reference?