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Why are you unlucky in love?

By Edited May 12, 2015 0 0

love (17393)
Love is a wonderful thing and everyone want to fall in love and live happily ever after. Is love a hype? Does true love really exist? If you were to go by the divorce rate in the world, you might conclude that love is just an illusion and that only fools fall in love. Those armed with that knowledge still search for true love. Are we genetically programmed to want to love and be loved? Some might say that we are to a certain degree. We might come to that conclusion because there is no other way to explain why we feel the need to fall in love. There is no need to be scientific about love because there is no rational thinking behind the notion. That would probably explain why most people feel unfulfilled until they fall in love with someone. There are people who have fallen in love with someone and have stayed all their life with that same person. You might wonder why that is the case. Why have they been able to stay together for so long and others don't even last till the end of the first year? This is one of the mysteries surrounding love and marriage. There is no single answer. Those who have stayed together for so many years don't even have a conclusive answer either. They say it is because of the profound love they feel for their partner. However, that does not explain why others who felt the same level of love never make it together for that long. Why did their love fizzle out after a few months or a few years? The main reason that has being cited by most couple who have been through that predicament has been the lack of good communication. What is good communication? That is a different subject.

The fact that some couples stay together for more than 40, 50 years and even longer means that true love does exist? Did they stay together because they didn't have a choice? Is that the secret to long lasting love? At times the fact that we don't have a choice can help us deal with marital problems and work through thorny issues. Today, divorce is no longer a shame. It has even become fashionable to be married several times without the stigma attached to divorce some years back. So why are some people unlucky in love?

Wrong person: Like any project that we might like to undertake, a false start will most likely spell doom from the beginning. The same goes with falling in love. If you were to fall in love with the wrong person, you are bound to fall out of love after a few weeks or years. How do you know it is the wrong person? If you were to start dating a married man or woman, were do you think that will take you? Disaster! What about those who get involved with someone on a rebound. That is to say a person who might still be in love with his or her ex. Others fall for someone who is afraid of commitment. What is the point of falling in love without commitment? Commitment is the key to some couples staying together for so many years. If you want to fall in love and stay in love, make sure it is with the right person. That is one of the secret of being lucky in love.

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You: At times, you might think you are unlucky in love because you keep falling for the wrong person. At times you might fall for a great person but you are the problem. If you have excess emotional luggage that you have been unable to deal with, you will never be lucky in love. Love is something that is shared and the more you are able to focus on your love and what you can bring to the table, the better your chances will be. Don't fall in love thinking it will solve your problems. You have to solve your problems. If you can get that clear and deal with your issues, you will at least feel better about yourself. How do you want someone to love you if you don't love yourself? As sad as it maybe, love doesn't fix everything. Loving yourself implies, taking the time to take care of your mental, emotional health and your outward appearance. You don't have to be a top model or an Adonis to love yourself. The little things you do on a daily basis, will go a long way to boost your self esteem and make you loveable and lucky in love.

Words: Words can heal and they can also kill. Do you talk too much? I couldn't get a word in edgeways is a popular saying. You might feel you have a lot to say but does that mean that the other wants to listen? If you talk too much, you will be heading for disaster. The more you talk, the likelihood of revealing confidential things are greater. You could easily drown your partner in words. No one takes pleasure in a talkative. If you want such a person you could have purchased a parrot. Moderation is the key and learning when to talk and when to shut up can go a long way in helping you brake the cycle of being unlucky in love. The other extreme to this is not talking enough. There are times when important things need to be addressed. You don't have to wait to be asked before telling your other half. Not doing enough with regards to words can create tension and misunderstanding. How many couples have had heated arguments because someone forgot to mention something really important? There is a time for everything in a couple's life. There is a time to talk and a time to be quiet. Communication is important to find true love. If important things are left unsaid, then the relationship is bound to fail. Talk is cheap and it can make or break a relationship. If you want to be lucky in love, you need to get the balance right. If you can't, then just be happy and stay single. After all there is nothing wrong with that.

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