Dealing successfully with people you can't stand?
We've all hard to deal with someone difficult or maybe you're the difficult person having to deal with others, whichever side you're on, it's never easy. Society as a whole popularize avoiding conflict and not addressing it. I admit it's easier to take the path of least resistance. No one looks to start or deal with conflict when they wake up in the morning; however, it's something that's inevitable living on a planet full of people.
Types of Interpersonal Relationships
An interpersonal relationship is a connection between two or more people. The connection differs depending on the type of relationship. If it’s family; you’re related by blood, romantic by sexual attraction and common values, friendship by personality and common values, and professional usually by work environment.
3 common conflict causes:
Conflict is a collision or disagreement which usually arises from
- Difference in values
- Low self-esteem
“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one reason that stands between damaging your relationship and deepening it, and that reason is attitude.” William James.
The right attitude helps keep things in perspective and keeps you from focusing too much on your emotions.
3 points that help manage conflict:
1. Acceptance is to acknowledge or offer consent. People are primarily what they believe and they tend to see a difference in values often as a threat to who they are. Showing people you accept them for who they are creates a feeling of belonging which makes them more agreeable and willing to listen.
2. Approval is to accept a view or an action. While acceptance focuses on who a person is, approval has more to do with what a person does. Depending on the situation, be direct. This lets the other person know that you’re sensitive to the situation and you care to resolve it. Point out what you approve off first before pointing out what you don’t and people are willing to listen.
3. Appreciate is to value highly, to show gratitude or thankful for. People appreciate and remember what they value and forget what they don’t. In the words of writer William Arthur Ward, “Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I may not forget you.” Share your acceptance, be sincere in your approval, and people will not forget you and will appreciate you for it.
3 common pitfalls in resolving conflict:
A pitfall is a lightly covered and unnoticeable pit prepared as a trap for people or animals. You don’t notice it until it’s already too late. The same goes with people and relationships. Doing certain things can make or break a relationship and it’s best to avoid them early on.
- Avoiding conflict hoping it’ll go away. Rarely do situations fix themselves without communication, and talking things out leads to better understanding of each other’s point of view.
- Beating yourself up for past mistakes. Forgive yourself, live your life, and let the hurt of the past die otherwise you’ll always be chasing yesterday’s faults today.
- Getting emotional and taking it too seriously. Learning to relax and recognize that situations are never as bad as you think they are. If it doesn’t matter in five years then it won’t matter now.
Accepting, approving, and appreciating others starts with you cause you can only give what you have. Do your best to resolve conflict, forget about what you can’t control, forgive yourself, and let go. Ultimately you might not avoid being misjudged or criticized however your relationships will deepen with the right people.