Why am I asking you to take a risk and ask for a raise when it was not offered? Well, take a risk and see if that employer appreciates your work or not. Asking for a raise comes down to everything that I have asked, comes to the creation of a self confidence after a harsh experience of a break up or being the person cheated on. Perspective speaking here, if you feel insecure about asking for a raise, than your gut is telling you the side of caution and instead of asking for the raise, look for a new job. Anything that you do to improve your situation is better for you and I would say is the reason for living
After your break up your self confidence can dwindle or worse, your confidence was already shot and now its just not even there. You have tried something new like joined a food club, meeting new people and taste testing all the local cuisine in your neighbourhood. You have committed to change and read some books about procrastination. You even joined a martial arts club and work out with your peers every night. Asking for a raise is a stage in your life of many that you will experience and your goal is becoming a new and better person than you were in your relationship.
Even after following through and updating your wardrobe, you still feel like you might not want to ask, than lets look at why. Chances are if you feel insecure about asking for a raise, than your gut is telling you something. Ben Young sums it up right ("Why you should trust your gut. Always") your gut picks up subtleties like for instance, body language, tone of voice or something that was said from last week, information that your conscious pushed aside. Your gut tells you no, its probably a good idea to listen.
Your gut tells you not to ask for a raise. You must ask yourself, if this is just nerves or your gut? Write down why you feel uneasy and decipher that, I think you know where to go from here, so I wont over explain. Now, if you feel like it's a go, go for it and you may fine that your life may improve. Think about it, anything that you do to improve your situation your confidence will just improve. That raise might be small or large and could improve your living arrangements where you lived with a roommate and now you can live on your own. Just think of the potential you want for your life.
Asking for a raise comes down to confidence and a stage in your life where you make situations happen for you. Yes follow your gut but not your nerves. You may decide not to ask for that raise, which means you know you are not appreciated at your job. Why stay in a place that doesn't appreciate your effort and output that in time could fire you or give you early retirement. Your boss says no and that's great compared to yes because now you have another opportunity to improve your situation and get into another adventure. Ultimately anything you do to improve your situation like asking for a raise is the reason for living.