It is a universal fact that men and women have different preferences for communication. The proverb ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ explains the differences in men and women that result into most of the miscommunication and misunderstanding.
Women never give words to what they feel. This can be confusing at times. However, a woman’s face is the reflection of all her emotions. Here is a guide to know your woman by her expressions. Follow this and you will know the territory where you can tread fearless and where your movement has to be restricted.
Let us start with the most intriguing and confusing expressions.
1) Scorn or Contempt-
Stands for- “How dare you?”
Symptoms- Lifted brows, furrowed forehead, lip clenched and eyes menacing like the eye of a tornado.
Causes- Anything from a surprise night-out with friends, a sudden plan to play golf this weekend or a minor flaw in table manners or for that matter, any other manner.
Solution- Time is the only cure, even the thought can trigger this expression so even if you drop the plan that won’t be of much help. Pampering and doting will catalyze the process.
2) Controlled rage-
Stands for- “I will kick your balls.”
Symptoms- Flared nostrils, clenched lips, brows stretched, eyes squinting and deep breathes.
Causes- you took out your first marriage album and placed it on your side table. Poking too much fun of her among friends and family.
Solution- Hours of adoration, admiration and doting and repetitive confession of your love for her can only sooth her. When the expression starts soothing kiss her on the forehead and Voila! All will be well. Buy her a dress as a compensation. She will Love it.
Stands for – “Oh! No.”
Symptoms- Raised eyebrows, wide-open eyes, short breathes, corners of lips pointing downwards.
Causes- a horror movie and a screeching sound in the middle of the night.
Solution- If she wakes up in the middle of the night and wakes you up, sit down with her, hold her and tell her everything is fine. Hold her and don’t doze off before her. Or the next morning you will have to face expressions 1 and 2.
Stands for- “I know you, man. Don’t try to bluff me.”
Symptoms- eyes squinting, crooked smile and a smirk.
Causes- You told her there is an urgent meeting this Saturday night. There is a meeting, however the location is a strip club. You chose the wrong day buddy. Of course she doesn’t believe you.
Solution- Go attend your ‘meeting’ but meanwhile prepare your case that you will have to present once you are back. Pack your bags of lies and start yapping even before she confronts you. And don’t forget to take some chocolates and flowers.
5) Obligatory Smile-
Stands for- “God save me from this torture”, "When will all this end"
Symptoms- Twisted smile, eyes blank and a sigh here and there.
Causes- Her mother-in-law’s surprise visit. Or a surprise party to your boss, which was, in-effect, a surprise for her too.
Solution- Now the reasons are already in effect, you can only make up for it by helping her in her kitchen and hospitality works. Stand by her side if you want to avoid 1 and 2.
6) The Feared Smile of Derision-
Stands for- “You will pay for this.”
Symptoms- A cheeky smile, one eyebrow raised and warning eyes.
Causes- You refused to pay an extra $100 for a hotel room with a better view. Or you gifted her a recipe book and a microwave on her birthday. You might have all the fun at the moment but you will have to sleep on the couch for the rest of month.
Solution- Anything you do would be insignificant. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything. Don’t you want to sleep in that warm and cozy bed? Bring her serenades, flowers and chocolates, pamper her to the fullest maybe she will let you sleep on your bed.
7) Asking Nicely-
Stands for- “C’mon, I need you. I need you help”
Symptoms- eyebrows bent low at the end and lifted at forehead, slight trembling chin.
Cause- You promised something and then forgot.
Solution- This is a sweet expression. Your woman is not angry she was only expecting that you will keep your promise. The solution is to do whatever you can if you want to prevent the expression to change to number 10.
Stands for- “Please do it for me.”
Symptoms- Same as 7, a bit exaggerated with hint of impatience and sentiments.
Cause- You have been promising the same thing over and over again and every time it slips off your mind.
Solution- Get yourself a reminder. She is your better half; you better remember what promises you make to her. Make it up for this if you want to avoid number 10.
Stands for- “What is this?”
Symptoms- One eye squinted, eyebrows tilted, light furrows, jaws clenched
Cause- Your favorite team wins and you go to bed wearing the team’s colors, next day you wake up looking for the shirt and suit to match the colors of the winning team and even demand a coffee or a drink of the same color.
Solution- Stop being ridiculous. The next step to this is either 1, 2 or 10.
10) Sad / Upset / Hurt-
Stands for- “What did I do to deserve this”
Symptoms- Red and moist eyes, tears, heavy breathes, almost panting, lips inverted U-shaped.
Cause- Repetitive forgetfulness, neglect and rude mannerism.
Solution- If you love your woman this is the expression you hate most and should try to keep it away from her. Always remember women are the fairer sex, you should always be fair to them. After everything they have done for you atleast they deserve this.
Stands for- “What!!!”
Symptoms- Wide eyes, mouth open in extreme cases lips round.
Cause- You called her early morning by another girl’s name.
Solution- You better have an explanation ready.
Stands for- “I’m done with you.”
Symptoms- narrow eyes, frozen expression and possibly you won’t even feel her breathe.
Cause- You realize your mistake in 11. You correct it. But now the name that comes out of your mouth is your neighbor’s.
Solution- If you don’t have an explanation get your divorce papers ready.
13) Cutely Demanding-
Stands for- “Please get me this thing.”
Symptoms- Eyebrows raised innocently like a puppy, lips pouted.
Cause- Walking hand-in-hand her eyeballs are stuck to one particular dress and she wants it.
Solution- You better get her that dress or else number 1, 2, 10, 12 may follow.
Stands for- “My mistake”
Symptoms- Lips closed, the edges of lips point downwards, face relaxed, one eyebrow raised slightly.
Cause- Unknown, subject of research (wink).
Solution- Why do you need a solution, this happens once in a blue moon. Enjoy!
In a relationship, one person is always right, the other one is Husband. When your wife accepts she is at fault, it’s time for you to rejoice. J
Symptoms-Lips wide in a grin, eyes smiling face glowing. This is the expression that every lover want to see on his sweetheart’s face.
Solution- You must be out of your mind to seek a solution for this. This is the world’s best sight buddy. You have survived all the expressions and have finally made her happy. And if your woman is happy, she can and will do anything for you. This is your Moment of Glory.