These Are Not Your Average MomiliesCredit: www.amazon.com
If you think back to when you were little, I bet you can remember some charming quotes that your mom used to say to you like these classic momilies:
Don’t cross your eyes or they will freeze like that way! (this one would crack my brother and me up)
Eat all of your carrots they are good for your eyes. (while vegetables are good for you, my nearsighted self would eat an absurd amount thinking that one day I would never have to wear eyeglasses again.)
You’re not made of sugar, you won’t melt. (these words of wisdom were always told to me on a rainy day when I had to walk to school)
Why buy the cow when the milk is free? (often told to me when I started high school)
With the exception of telling my children that they are not being made of sugar, I do not tell my children momilies. Instead, I try to give them words of wisdom that can teach them life lessons now and that they can carry into adulthood.
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Life's Not Fair and Life's Not EqualCredit: www.amazon.com
Probably one of the most often heard cries both parents and teachers hear is “That’s not fair!”. Modern parenting has tried to level the playing field to the point of the ridiculous. Everyone gets a prize or a trophy, even if they came in twentieth place. In fact, in my children’s school, a brand new rule came out when it came to class parties-no goody bags were allowed to be sent in.
Because Mrs. Smith’s class might have room moms who make a snazzier goody bag then Mrs. Jones’ class. So, in order to make things fair, no gets a goody bag.
Can I tell you how glad I am to be leaving elementary school behind me?
I know that I try to keep the status quo in my home and that I try my best to keep things level for both of my kids. But the bottom line is that it cannot always be done. That is life.
So when I hear the cries of “It’s not fair!”, depending on how much sleep and coffee I have had, I tell my kids “Life is not fair and life is not equal.” I then go on to list important things that are not fair, like their friend whose father died when she was eight or their friends whose parents have divorced or how their grandmother is disabled and cannot walk well.
Those things are not fair. Not being able to sit in the front seat of the car on the way to school is not something to cry about.
She's a Fingertip Friend
I came up with this phrase when my older daughter had a bad bout of girl drama in the fifth grade. A friend of hers since babyhood was bad mouthing her so badly that I had to call the mom to make it stop (and this permanently damaged our friendship). Although the girl apologized, I advised my daughter that since a leopard does not change her spots and she was still a part of our social circle, that she was now a “fingertip friend”.
What is a fingertip friend?
We hold those whom we love dearly close to us in our heart. We let them in on our successes as well as our failures. However, not everyone can be a close friend.
Imagine holding your arms straight out. At the end of your fingertips is where you keep this person. You do not let her in, but you can still talk to her…just not about important things. You do not call her to hang out or play. While you do not go out of your way to be mean, you just do not go out of your way to keep her close.
Show Your Couth
Credit: www.amazon.comI was very spoiled by my older daughter. At a very young age, she truly had an understanding about what she should say and what she should not. I could be very honest with about why she could not go to a person’s house or why a person was acting the way that she was.
I learned the hard way that my twins were not born with a filter and that they cannot be trusted not to repeat certain things that I tell them.
When they ask aloud a question that would be better left unsaid when someone is within earshot I just tell them to “show your couth”. That is my nice way of saying ‘be quiet!”
Happiness is a Choice
I choose to be happy!
A dear friend of mine has had more than her share of life’s ups and downs. She would get a free pass in my book to say “it’s not fair” and I would not flinch.
However, she has chosen to take the high road and said this to me years ago, Happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy.
Yes, life can get us down and we certainly are entitled to have a pity party once in a while. But then we have to build a bridge and get over it! You can choose misery or you can choose happiness…which one makes you feel better? Which one lets you get out of bed each day and start again? Which one makes you a better person to be around?
It is unrealistic to think that life will not throw you curve balls and that you will not have bad days. That is just part of the human experience. But how we choose to react to these situations is what will make or break us.
It's our attitude, not our aptitude, will take us to our altitude.
What words of wisdom do you say to your children? What was taught to you that you will pass on to them?