by Dr. Kate Siner

Inevitably, when people are attempting to grow their business, improve their relationships, or change their lives, they hit a wall of fear. When asked about it, they might say things like: "I am afraid that I will be alone for the rest of my life," or, "What I want comes at too high of a price."

 Fear is a normal response to change. Believe it or not, it is also a sign that you are on the right track.  Instead of thinking that fear is a sign you are doing something wrong, try finding ways of acknowledging your fears and persisting in the face of them. If you are uncertain how to do that, try some of these ideas:


Pay attention to how you respond to feeling fear. Fear is sneaky. It can show up as confusion, anger, and apathy. Sometimes, when asked if they are afraid, a person will not name it as fear but as another emotion. Learn your own habits and this awareness will help you move forward.


What is at risk? If you set a goal and then find that you are not moving towards it, look for how you might be afraid of either achieving or not achieving the outcome. This question can also point to beliefs or contracts a person made with themselves or others. There is a perceived or real emotional risk in moving forward.  By bringing that risk to light it can be dealt with so that you can more easily meet your goals.


Take care of yourself: This step appears again and again when it comes to reaching our goals. It is based on the idea that we should not do harm to ourselves. If the situation feels risky, find a way to give yourself some security. It is important that we stretch toward our goals and it is important that we don't break.


How would you act if you were not afraid?: This solution may sound a bit simple, but it is also effective. If you do not have the answer to this question, then look around for someone who seems like they might and try it on for size.


Keep your eye on your goal: Fear is a sign that you really want something. One way to find the strength to meet your goal is to really lock in on how important it is to you. This can help you deal with the discomfort that fear instills.


Let it out: Tell someone who is supportive. For whatever reason, fear multiplies when we keep it inside. Let the people who are really supportive of you know how you are feeling and your fear may wane.