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Would You Date a Girl With Super Powers?

By Edited Jun 3, 2015 0 1

Meeting the Right One

With the Right Power Set

Let's just get the facts out of the way right at the beginning. The chances of you meeting and dating a woman with superpowers is hovering somewhere between pigs flying and hell freezing over, statistically speaking. But although it will probably never happen, it is a fun mental exercise to imagine what it would be like to date someone with superpowers. Would you date a girl or woman with superpowers if given the chance? Let's think about what sort of responsibility might come with that, and the advantages and disadvantages to dating a girl with superpowers.

A lot of what would make a relationship work with a super-powered woman is the same stuff that would make any relationship work. Stuff like a healthy physical attraction, not being possessive, open conversations, and respect for each other's opinions.

But there's a lot more to it dating a super-powered woman as well. And at first, you may not even know what those things are, especially if you are...

Dating a Girl With a Secret Identity

Secrets Don't Make Friends (Or Lovers)

Batgirl(91355)
Credit: Alex Ross

First of all, it's pretty likely that if you are dating a girl with superpowers, she is in fact a superheroine. Let's hope so, anyway, because you don't want to end up dating (or even worse, become exes with) a supervillianess. And if she is a superheroine, that probably means she has a secret identity. So if you starting dating a girl, you may not know for weeks, months, or even years (probably not years) that she is in fact fighting crime in her spare time.

Assuming that she kept her powers and costumed identity a secret from you at first, you wouldn't know what to think when she runs off unexpectedly with lame excuses just when a giant robot has started attacking the city. Or what to think when she is evasive about certain questions, like "Where are you getting all these bruises?" For all you know, she could be involved in some sort of BDSM cult on the side.

But if you like her enough to put up with all of that nonsense, it would eventually be a huge relief to find out your girlfriend is not having an affair or owe money to the mob, she's just a superhero!

Wait a minute...just a superhero? Uh-oh. Now you've got a whole new set of problems, not the least of which would be the constant fear and anxiety that her archnemesis will find out her real identity and use that information to harm her, you, or any other people close to her. It's a good bet that you don't want to end up as the first example of a "men in refrigerators" trope.

And even if that never happens, you will be living with a constant state of anxiety that she might not come home one day because of the dangers of her crime-fighting career. And eventually, by the laws of narrative drama, you will eventually die by the hands of her archnemesis (again, fridge stuffing) or at the very least become a hostage on a regular basis. You and Steve Trevor can start a club.

So dating a girl with a secret identity is not ideal. But that doesn't mean things couldn't work out if she had powers but wasn't using them to fight crime. Let's take a look at how certain powers would affect your love life, starting with...

Dating a Girl With Super-Strength

Woman of Steel, Man of Kleenex

She-Hulk
Credit: Juan Bobillo

As long as you get along well with your girlfriend, and you don't mind ceding a traditional role of protector in the relationship, there's a lot of good to be said about dating a woman with super-strength. You'll never have to worry about home invaders or other "normal" criminal activity (we won't count the possibility of supervillain attacks). And your girlfriend will definitely have some good workout advice, so there's that. Overall, as long as you don't let your pride about not wearing the pants in the relationship get to you, dating a girl who can crush a tank with her bare hands is awesome (Also remember to be careful in the bedroom).

However, that pesky pride won't just go away on its own, and friends, family, and strangers will all try, consciously or not, to draw your attention to it. For instance, think about what your super-strong girlfriend's family will say. If she inherited her super-strength, her parents might be the type to harass a powerless normal individual such as yourself. Or even if they aren't, be prepared to have them look down on their daughter dating a man who can't protect her. This completely hypothetical scenario is why super-strong superheroines have a complex about dating 'normal' men. Probably.

Also, don't ever make your super-strong girlfriend angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry. Although maybe it shouldn't always bother you that your girlfriend can potentially beat you up. Just remember to always stay on her good side, and under no circumstances challenge her to a fight to the death.

As long as you maintain a strong personality and presence, and keep your mouth shut when you know what's good for you, dating a woman with super-strength has a lot of advantages to it. But keeping your mouth shut won't help you when you're...

With a psychic girlfriend, all bets are off. She will know everything that you're thinking, all the time, and that means that for every issue that floats up in your head you better have a justification or solution. Simply put, there's a lot that can go wrong here (but you probably knew that)(Also, she knows you know that).

It doesn't matter how smart you are, there are times when you are going to think up a lot of dumb things, and those are going to be embarrassing when your psychic girlfriend starts commenting on them. One of the worst of these is going to be your increasing self-doubt about even being good enough for her, which will end up creating a vicious cycle between the two of you of self-doubt. She will know what makes you angry, jealous, wistful for someone else: in short, everything you don't want another person to know about, ESPECIALLY a significant other. 

Also, behind every woman there's a man who thinks you aren't good enough for her, and she'll be able to get a mindful of this whenever the two of you go out in public together. Just one more reason the self-doubt and worry will keep piling on.

There might be one or two fun benefits from dating a telepath (she would certainly never doubt a genuine compliment you gave her), but on the whole, you are in for a world of mental pain. So, with that in mind, let's look at what happens...

When the Relationship Ends

Don't Overreact

Well, you gave it a good run, but for whatever reason, the relationship between you and your super-powered significant other just didn't work out. Maybe it was an amicable split, or maybe she finally dumped you to start dating someone in her own (Justice) league. Whatever the case, don't let the post-relationship blues fuel any thoughts of jealousy or revenge. The last thing the world needs is another heartbroken ex-boyfriend starting a career as a super villain.

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Comments

Mar 28, 2012 9:53pm
Introspective
Very cute!
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