Our mind is constantly working to determine what information to take in, bypass, or delete. The mind is doing this so fast that we often miss what thoughts it generates.
This Is How It Operates:
Information is assimilated based on our beliefs and/ or values, which we call filters. This then triggers thoughts, which generate emotions, and it is upon these feelings that we base our decisions or actions on. Our beliefs determine how we view others and the outside world.
To enact real change you first must recognize and become aware of how these beliefs trigger the emotions that you take action on. This recognition phase dissecting those negative beliefs is crucial when trying to change your life, and improve your self esteem.
A belief is something you PERSONALLY believe to be true. It does not necessarily make it so. There may be no defining principle, factual basis to support it. In fact most the time it is COMPLETELY false. For instance: "Im a bad person" may have been accepted as a truth because of a childhood full of parents or others telling you so. The reason that its accepted is because you felt bad when told it so over time you believed it to be true. See though that it was based on emotion not on actual truths.
For the person holding this belief to be true the subconscious will do whatever it has to make that belief true for them, because that is the instruction that you are giving the mind. Your mind will make sure that you take action that will create situations where you continually feel bad and so that then becomes the truth for you.
The good news here is that the opposite holds true as well. If your belief is that you are a good person, then the mind will do everything to make THAT your experience.
What you believe to be true is true, yet only for you. The results of all your actions are a mirror for the beliefs that you have. Loneliness for the lonely belief, love for those that love themselves, your mind will do whatever it takes to carry out the instructions given it to validate the beliefs you hold. No matter what you believe the mind will filter out all information contrary to these beliefs.
Often our beliefs are based on nothing more than emotion. Start now by asking what definable truths and principles there are that you used to determine your beliefs instead of those fickle feelings. If you were asked why a ball fell you would say gravity, which is a result of physics. So to are there principles related to all other areas in life. Find those principles and learn how to change your life.