Your best asset is you and others NOT like you
When someone new comes along
Some may reject him or her
Why do people make snap judgements?
Our children are probably the wisest among us
When you watch young kids playing, they have a common goal: to have fun. I remember playing hide 'n seek every night after dinner with kids of different ages, backgrounds, religions, culture, and so on.
We didn't care about who's parents made the most money, who had the best grades, or what anyone looked like. It didn't matter that boys and girls of different ages were playing either. The deal was: get everyone together, figure out who would be it, and hide.
Mission accomplished - we had fun.
So what happened to many of us adults?
Why do some people feel the need to control others?
According to Daniel A. Bochner, Ph.D., the need to seek power or control over others appears to stem from feeling powerless. In his article, The Power and Control Addiction, he identifies three patterns in childhood:
1) Being dominated in childhood and thereby concluding that controlling others is the right (or only) way to overcome this feeling.
2) Having an "impossible-to-please" parent - which can lead to perfectionism. Having such high (and unattainable) personal standards can cause some people to expect the same unrealistically high standards in those around them.
3) Someone born with a more egocentric personality who derives pleasure and self-esteem from having others "give in" to their wishes.
Notably, these patterns can be found singly or may overlap in people who are affected.
Managers need to lead in a different way today, to mentor rather than control others.
The Emotional Toolbox: A Manual for Mental Health
by Daniel A. Bochner
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The worst outcome is when segregation occurs
based on race, gender, religion, title, income or simply someone unique (or different) in some way.
Let the men make the decisions?
Results of a 2010 study led by Anita Woolley, of Carnegie Mellon University in Pennsylvania, found that pooling a bunch of highly intelligent men does not add up to a more intelligent group.
Perhaps surprising to some, the research indicated that group intelligence is linked to social skills and the proportion of women within the group.
Professor Woolley, an organizational psychologist, remarked: "The effect was linear, meaning the more women, the better."
Sometimes those who appear to be "in charge"
attempt to have others shun the unique person or idea
Some fear this and start to "follow-the-leader"
They emulate these types (and adult bullying occurs).
But they're the experts
Groups where only a few people dominated the team were "less intelligent" than those in which people had equal say. Indeed, the silent type in the group may be the smartest person in the room.
Wrong: Why Experts* Keep Failing Us
And How to Know When Not to Trust Them by David H. Freedman
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But we are a loyal bunch, we like familiarity
After a while, similarity becomes boring
Even in the nicest surroundings we can get "stuck"
Insanity is repeating the same mistakes
and expecting different results.
Note: This quote and variants including "The definition of insanity . . ." or "One definition of insanity . . ." have been attributed to Albert Einstein, Ben Franklin, Confucius, and an old Chinese proverb, but Narcotics Anonymous is its first known appearance in print.
Some leaders recognize the need for uniqueness
We are too loyal sometimes
Throughout history, thousands of people have been known to follow the advice of those who have been around a long time and who are most vocal. So highly skilled at manipulation are these self-appointed leaders that even employers don't question their motives.
An internal problem? It's worth checking out.
With luck, the white peacock comes back.
About 64% of the best talent leaves
The WBI (Workplace Bullying Institute) studies along with Zogby International (involving thousands of participants) revealed 64% of those targeted by a workplace bully end up losing their job.
Bullies cause those they target to start all over again. Sadly, the target ends up losing in most cases and the bully is given even more power to continue.
Some brilliant leaders "get it" (many ignore the early signs)
In The Globe and Mail, I read an interesting article by Wallace Imment (in 2012) titled For some, ethics are a moving target.
Dr. Nicole Ruedy, a postdoctoral research associate at the Center for Leadership and Strategic Thinking, University of Washington, reported: "41% of cheaters showed statistically significant boosts in positive feelings compared with the non-cheaters. Something being coined as the cheater's high."
"People tend to make rules for others
and exceptions for themselves." ~ Anonymous
Perhaps you are a totally different creature
with some white and colored peacock in you - fabulous!
GREAT, you are exactly what the world needs
Where have you been?
Just think, no one else is exactly like you in the world. And thank goodness.
"The great pleasure in life is doing
what people say you cannot do."
~ Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877) was a British businessman, essayist, social Darwinist and journalist who wrote extensively about literature, government, and many economic affairs.
Once you embrace your own uniqueness, you become able to appreciate and respect those around you. You'll benefit as a group when everyone is treated equally and listened to. The most successful teams are comprised of both sexes, from diverse backgrounds, who are given equal say (and pay).
Don't know about you, but I feel like rounding up some kids and playing hide 'n seek.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
by Susan Jeffers
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