Make your home a love-filled one!
Mothers, when they are not busy with household chores, are most likely engrossed in doing something they think is productive, like gardening, reading and, like what I’m doing now, writing. What? Not spending time with their kids? Yep, funny way to spend their free time when all they profess to want, every time somebody asks them, is the good of their children and to shower them their love.
How to love your kids: give them bigger allowance, teach them house work, play with them or, talk to them. I’m all for the third and the fourth, a little for the second but a big no-no for the first. Money is not the proper way to show them your love; it’s pointing them towards the wrong direction definitely. If you make money the measure of your love, that would also be the same measure they would show you theirs, that is, if you can’t provide material things, you will never get their affection. They would grow up thinking that if they don’t have enough money, they won’t be worthy of anybody’s love. What a sad state! And they have their parents to blame for this twisted way of thinking.
House work - every kid’s nightmare! Nothing ruins a child’s great day more than being asked to do some house work. There are ways to make these chores fun and engaging though, aside from the time you get to spend with your kids, you also get to show them the correct way of doing those tasks. And, work is no longer work when they are enjoying it with the company of their mother.
Playing with them and talking to them. They come with the same degree of positive results. When mothers spend time to play with their kids, they learn how kids approach things in their own setting, which leads to better understanding of how their kids react to things and situations. Talking casually also provides the same results, your kids will see you not as an authority but as someone they can talk to freely. This perception cannot be achieved overnight though, for most children see parents as someone who can’t be in their league, an outsider who cannot be trusted to see things their way.
This communication gap is the most common reason why most children, teenagers especially, prefer to confide their problems to their friends first and their parents last. Get the meaning? If you were considered as their friend, whether you are a parent, you will still know first. Easy, right? Wrong, because making your children treat you as their friend and not just a parent is really, really hard. Trust me, I have firsthand knowledge. I have years of experience and still, until now, it is still a work in progress. You can’t definitely say that they already accepted you as a friend, and that’s it. This is a continuous struggle, to maintain that status, to keep up their trust! We can’t afford to be complacent.
Loving your kids is easy; showing it to them is a positive way is the hitch, not an easy assignment but practice, patience and determination pays. And shower them with love, lots of love, always!